[Blueberrybook]

Saw the pdoc and my PCP today...Pdoc does not seem super versed in EDs, or if he is, he hides it well. He tells me to eat a banana before running and drink a protein shake afterwards. Then he tells me to come back in a week. Don't know how exactly to read that. He is a new pdoc (old one retiring), and I've only been seeing him since late March.

Not sure, but the PCP may contact him (I have signed consents for the both of them). IDK, I weighed less on the PCP's scale than mine at home, which made all the ED-thoughts happy. Logically, I know this weight is really bad and too low, but the ED-side thinks it's great. I've seen my PCP 14 years, so she didn't beat too much around the bush about it because she knows I know what I need to do to get better. I just have to do it. She ordered blood tests, especially since the last blood results they have were taken shortly after my ulcer surgery, and some of the tests were abnormal, but in a range to be expected that amount of time after an ulcer surgery. I didn't have to fast for the bloodwork, so I got it done since the lab is right near the doctor's office (luckily, managed not to faint this time). It's always 50/50 with blood draws, no matter the state of my ED.

Still feeling like a lazy lump for barely exercising today, even if I was running around most of the day taking care of errands and doing chores. I'm so messed up. I had rocky road ice cream for lunch because I needed to make room in the freezer after grocery shopping and the quart was nearly empty. Also, it was nearly 2 PM, and I hadn't had anything to eat other than a small nonfat mocha in the early morning. Not sure what is up with me and the chocolate. I did eat a normal dinner at least. I need to do better with the eating tomorrow, but on the plus side, I didn't overexercise.

Pdoc mentioned therapy. I'm not crazy about it. I have never connected with a therapist; I must have tried at least a dozen over the years. Some were admittedly better than others, but I never clicked with a single one. Tried ED group therapy once and that turned me competitive with all the others there, not helping at all.

I'm so tired of this stress and the not knowing what we'll do now that we are looking at probably losing our house, having to get rid of a lot of our things. And my daughter is not easy to parent with all her sensory issues. Sigh. It's just a tough time for me.

still unable to control overeating

very bad today

..... bad again

very bad

Hey guise, look at what I just ate all to myself sitting in my bed.

Gonna eat more

[Blue_Bird]

I haven't been eating anywhere near enough the past week but it's not intentional, it's due to running through my money with all the binge food earlier in the month and I don't have food in the house except oatmeal, nothing else, no crackers, bread, NOTHING. It sucks but I should be going to a food pantry soon. I have a good grocery list for next time I have money so I'm hoping I will stick to it next time. I have had a lot of ED thoughts, you know, how the not eating triggers the restrictive side and tells me this is a good thing and to be happy about the not eating and to keep it up. but I have been resisting them and working on my body image issues.

I haven't exercised the past few days cause I don't want to be burning off too much with barely taking in anything.

[Blueberrybook]

2 really horrible days...I already posted about it in the bipolar forum. I have been running less at least, but I'm so anxious, I have a hard time eating. I didn't have breakfast but managed lunch. My weight was down again today. Certain shirts I wear show too much bone to wear in public.

I am so depressed, my eating isn't great, and even running less, it's still a lot. I'm very panicky, hate myself so much

[toomanycats]

Saw my dietician yesterday & have a new set of challenges.
1. Eat a snack every morning
2. Eat 1 bite of macaroni and cheese next time I make it for my daughter (combating gluten fear)
3. and the hardest...eat something with at least agave in it (stretch goal: containing sugar - can just be like a serving of a soup recipe that has a tsp in the whole recipe)

Doing well, I guess, but the ED is fighting back. Telling me that my giving in and doing these things means that I don't have an ED but am just manipulative and attention seeking.

Ate 1 cheez-it last night (gluten fear)
Ate a snack this morning
my snack containd maltodextrin in the ingredients list, which is a hidden sugar, so... maybe that can count? IDK.

hope tomorrow will be better.. don't holdm uch hope though

[88Butterfly88]

I ate a whole box of granola bars today, I need to do better tomorrow.

today is not better.

finished breakfast and then ate candy

Did you know if you start the day with paracetamol on an empty stomach, you have a step in the right direction at reducing hunger. But its not healthy? Wait what? So eating choclate is goo? Anyway

Also, get rid of all the salties and candy right now. The only things you should have is fruit and vegtables. Get long life milk. That way you will not be forced to drink it before the date of expiry.

Before you go to bed for a sleep, prepair containers and ziplock bags with carrots and cucumber. This way you will not need to be drinking from a bottle (which is bad habit forming for a recovering alcoholic) all day and its more cool to be seen eating raw veges, well i think so.

After my tolberone last night....woke up feeling so fat and bloated, just noticed the scales might be off.....doubt it..

Don't know why we keep ****ing up. Maybe its time to start digging up the deep web for some duramine ..i thinks dat how spell boat..

Be good.

Originally Posted by 2ISAB

Did you know if you start the day with paracetamol on an empty stomach, you have a step in the right direction at reducing hunger. But its not healthy? Wait what? So eating choclate is goo? Anyway

Also, get rid of all the salties and candy right now. The only things you should have is fruit and vegtables. Get long life milk. That way you will not be forced to drink it before the date of expiry.

Before you go to bed for a sleep, prepair containers and ziplock bags with carrots and cucumber. This way you will not need to be drinking from a bottle (which is bad habit forming for a recovering alcoholic) all day and its more cool to be seen eating raw veges, well i think so.

After my tolberone last night....woke up feeling so fat and bloated, just noticed the scales might be off.....doubt it..

Don't know why we keep ****ing up. Maybe its time to start digging up the deep web for some duramine ..i thinks dat how spell boat..

Be good.

a diet of fruit, veg and milk

well I don't eat veg and I don't particularly like fruit

guess i'm ****ed

Originally Posted by raging vortex

a diet of fruit, veg and milk

well I don't eat veg and I don't particularly like fruit

guess i'm ****ed

No. That's just the beginning of it. Then you go all the other days, everyday, eat only once. Right before you sleep. The food wont digest, right away. The body goes into a panick slash hibernate stage. The perfect time to sleep. The nutrients that your body processes, turns to fat and yep, your body stores it as fat, on your body. Now keeping that on mind added with my specially crafted foundation for you. But when you eat only once, make sure your ****en full.

Trust me, just as long as the only thing that enters your mouth is coffee, you will out smart your body, dna, cabanossi

However; should you fail your mission, dont beat and sabatage your good nature. Just start the next day really early. That is your punishment.

I feell obligated to inform you that it MAY cause health concerns.

Anyhoo, i think monks? Used to, or do....or was it the Egyptians..

No tolberones there huh

I also feel obligated to tell you i work for the australian federal police *wink*

Originally Posted by 2ISAB

No. That's just the beginning of it. Then you go all the other days, everyday, eat only once. Right before you sleep. The food wont digest, right away. The body goes into a panick slash hibernate stage. The perfect time to sleep. The nutrients that your body processes, turns to fat and yep, your body stores it as fat, on your body. Now keeping that on mind added with my specially crafted foundation for you. But when you eat only once, make sure your ****en full.

Trust me, just as long as the only thing that enters your mouth is coffee, you will out smart your body, dna, cabanossi

However; should you fail your mission, dont beat and sabatage your good nature. Just start the next day really early. That is your punishment.

okay I'm confused after reading all that

totally confused

is this something that you're trying that has worked for you?

something you found online and are posting about?

I don't know

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

okay I'm confused after reading all that

totally confused

is this something that you're trying that has worked for you?

something you found online and are posting about?

I don't know

Me too... not making much sense out of it

[Blueberrybook]

Bad day. Our finances are causing me so much stress, I can hardly eat. I'm running less but then eating less because I'm too anxious to eat. It's such a vicious cycle. I'm a freaking walking skeleton, and the stupid ED part of my brain loves that

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by cln1812

2 really horrible days...I already posted about it in the bipolar forum. I have been running less at least, but I'm so anxious, I have a hard time eating. I didn't have breakfast but managed lunch. My weight was down again today. Certain shirts I wear show too much bone to wear in public.

I am so depressed, my eating isn't great, and even running less, it's still a lot. I'm very panicky, hate myself so much

Sorry things are not so good for you now. Sometimes we take baby steps in our progress but I know the results come too slow at times, at least for me. Have you tried meditation for anxiety? Here is a page that has several Guided Imagery for anxiety and depression. You can choose what you like: YouTube Not everyone likes the same thing so that's why there are choices. I know times are hard. I hope they will get better.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by 2ISAB

Did you know if you start the day with paracetamol on an empty stomach, you have a step in the right direction at reducing hunger. But its not healthy? Wait what? So eating choclate is goo? Anyway

Also, get rid of all the salties and candy right now. The only things you should have is fruit and vegtables. Get long life milk. That way you will not be forced to drink it before the date of expiry.

Before you go to bed for a sleep, prepair containers and ziplock bags with carrots and cucumber. This way you will not need to be drinking from a bottle (which is bad habit forming for a recovering alcoholic) all day and its more cool to be seen eating raw veges, well i think so.

After my tolberone last night....woke up feeling so fat and bloated, just noticed the scales might be off.....doubt it..

Don't know why we keep ****ing up. Maybe its time to start digging up the deep web for some duramine ..i thinks dat how spell boat..

Be good.

Very interesting. Hi. Just thought I'd welcome you to this thread because I don't think I have so far.

U

Originally Posted by eskielover

Me too... not making much sense out of it

Maybe you two should get a room together and discuss what makes sense on this forum.

Then I would be happy to clarify any underdeveloped skills you may have.

Bullet proof.

[toomanycats]

I went out for a meal last night with my ex therapist, and I didn't pre-plan, didn't know exact nutritional info for the meal, and I did OK.

Do I even have an ED? Honestly...

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by 2ISAB

UMaybe you two should get a room together and discuss what makes sense on this forum.

Then I would be happy to clarify any underdeveloped skills you may have.

That is sure an arrogant reply.

I know good nutritional diets are what makes sense with or without the ED I struggled with for years.....I know that is bullet proof when applied.

I wonder what a nutritionalist woukd have to say.

another bad day.

not only eating through what I've got, but just ordered some more stuff (maybe less than usual, but still)

I know it's not good, and I know it needs to stop, but worst it's ever been for ages.. and I honestly don't think I can make it stop yet