Couch 95: No title required

Indeed. In my marriage, it's H. (I assume you mean housework, shopping, etc. We both have full-time jobs.) Although to be fair to myself I would perhaps do more if I ever did anything right in H's eyes. It feels pointless to even try. Plus I'm lazy, which is the real reason.

I could never do anything right as far as the stbx was concerned either. Thing is, I'm actually better than he is at a lot of stuff, as I'm discovering now that I kicked his miserable whiny butt to the curb.
I wouldn't feel a bit bad about not doing those things Mast (and don't be calling yourself lazy girl! I'm sure you're not!). If your H feels he can do a better job, let him at it. Makes your life easier either way

I may not have that situation at home, but I do work with a perfectionist. When she isn't fully happy with my work, instead of letting me tweak minor issues, she does it herself.

I think perfectionism on his part gives you a good reason to let him do his thing!

Sorry couch.

I just feel miserable because I feel I don't belong in any community. I don't even have a single offline friend due to lifelong social anxiety. I've tried meetups and groups, no dice.

I struggle with meeting people. At my age (40's) everyone seems to have well established lives and no room for "one more friend".

What do you like to do in your free time? Have you ever tried taking a class or volunteering? I know, having GAD myself that being social while anxious is very hard. Sometimes I have to force myself to be social.

I'm in my 20s and face the same issue with people having well established lives.

I've tried meetup.com, mental health support groups, hobby groups and volunteering during the rare times where I've overcome social anxiety.

Yet I don't even make more than very casual "hi bye" acquaintances. I feel like I remain on the fringe of groups or never fit in.

I'm finishing a short counseling certificate (quite proud that I managed to heal my social anxiety enough to join) but have only made 2 superficial connections.

Other people treat me like I'm invisible despite me trying to smile and look approachable. I think they pick up on my anxiety and discomfort.

While my GAD has subsided a lot, I'm starting to wonder why I've never ever been able to make friends offline. I'm not even talking about close friends, but acquaintances to have an occasional lunch or coffee with.

My pattern seems to be -- I meet strangers, we seem tolike each other, but things fizzle out/they start ignoring me/no return invites after 1-2 meets.

It's puzzling!

I suspect this happens to everyone, but when those of us with bad anxiety go through it, it can feel like crushing rejection. Personally I'm finding that repetition does help--just keep going to events or classes that you like. Most people are going to be "hi/bye" relationships. Eventually something has to stick!

I hope you're right!

It just seems that "everyone" has close friends they've known for years and/or close knit and loving family.

Oh I know. Sometimes you run across someone who is at a crossroads in life, and those people I have found open to friendships (they moved from another state or country, went through a breakup, had a major life shift etc.)

Don't know if this will help....I genuinely hope that I'm offering a positive thought here....
So, I am very lucky in that I have a good group of close friends, and a few very old friends who live away.
I work part time and study, so I often struggle to see my best friends who live just up the road.
I often meet new people, at dinner, or classes, and I do really like them. I can see that we would be friends, we have stuff in common, same sense of humour etc. But, I wouldn't make the effort to get better acquainted, simply because I don't have the time to see my friends I already have, and so any spare time it would be the priority to see my existing friends, and not to nurture new friendships, much as I would love to.
So, those people will remain to be 'the lovely girl at Pilates who I have a laugh with at the back' but that's where it stays.

I'm posting this because I really agree with Growly above, and my experience is that it must be very hard to make new friends after a certain age, and often that's simply because people have work, family, household, existing friends, and no time! Not because there's anything 'wrong' with the new person.
Hope that makes sense. Sorry for the waffle.
Btw I made friends for life when I went back to studying!

Do you have a dog? I meet lovely people at the dog park. Have you joined your local rotary or lions club? They love new members and making new friends while helping the community.

I really hope you're right. I'm probably taking rejections personally because I have a life history of being bullied at school and at work, so I constantly wonder (but do not seek reassurance about) if I'm unappealing or just not "good enough" to be anyone's friend.

I think my social anxiety gets in the way a lot as some people who've texted me in meetup group chats have told me that I am a lot warmer and friendlier in text than in person.

I've been working on my lifelong social anxiety for more than a year, perhaps I need more time... After all, this is the first time in my life where I'm actively forcing myself to socialise instead of being a loner and recluse.


I don't have pets and don't drive so the local animal shelter is quite far (more than an hour and a half via bus)...but perhaps I can find something closer to home, thanks.

Oh joy! Up and down since 3am headache body aches and unmentionable other stuff. Trying to sleep late and go to work at lunch. Hope I'm not contagious.

How's the couch today?

I will not throw my computer through my office window. I'll just log out of PC instead. (Different thread, not the couch.)

hankster, wish your T a happy Midsummer from me.

My elderly horse died this morning. I have had him half my life. I knew it was coming at some point, but he seemed really good last night. Had to leave him and go to a continuing ed class because the cut off to get them done is coming up. Sitting here looking normal with a wicked headache and trying not to puke.

I am so sorry for your loss, MKAC.

oh, mkic, I'm so sorry.

MKAC - i am sorry to hear both about your horse and the cle.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss too MKAC.

How sad for you Mkac. So sorry for your loss.

((((MKAC)))) I'm sorry for you loss

I'm so sorry. What a difficult loss.

im so sorry MKAC . I hope you are through with your class and are able to be in a place to just feel sad .

Class is over. Sorry for killing the couch today, guys.

I'm sorry MKAC