Husband left me at 8 months pregnant...why?

AI, please...you're pregnant. If he's going to fault you for not cleaning the house while...what, 6 months pregnant at the time this started to be an issue? That, to me, shows a blatant lack of care or compassion.

EVERYONE does wrong in ANY relationship at some point or another. It's an inevitability. Couples are going to bicker and argue from time to time. It is NEVER a seamless process of melding two lives into one. Never. The key is withstanding those petty disagreements and remembering why you loved him/her in the first place. HE failed that test, NOT you. To be perfectly, 110% honest, I don't think cleaning had a darn thing to do with this.

You have done absolutely nothing wrong, AI. Your little girl is going to be lucky to have a mom like you. I have no question about that.

I feel like an awful person.......
Then I go and eff it up, because I am just a huge screw up.

I think I am meant to be alone and that's okay. It's a fit punishment for a screw up who wasn't enough for her true love, who did her true love wrong at times.

I should've cleaned more, and I should've brought money home. I shouldn't have argued. I should've stayed 110 pounds instead of the 130 pounds.

If I could take all of my mistakes back I would. I loathe myself and I dont think I can forgive myself for this.

This pain is my fault and I failed my daughter. I am a disgrace.

I am giving birth in a matter of weeks. HE left me with no job, no home, no money(and he hasn't offered any), no vehicle, nothing.

Well, thank goodness there are laws about this kind of thing. Get a lawyer and he/she will help you get a home, car, money, child support, etc.--whatever is fair in this situation. I guess your husband is going to learn about consequences. I'm so sorry. You will be a good mom without him in your life. I'm glad you have the support of your family. Please contact the lawyer, though. The lawyer may have important advice on the timing of filing for divorce in regard to your child's birth, etc. The lawyer can also help you file an order of support so that your husband has to pay you a monthly amount now, before the divorce is final.

Background info: My husband and I got married in 2010, I was 18 and he was 19. He proposed to me and chose the date(I didn't want to pressure him, I wanted him to decide when he wanted to marry, because I understood that we were young.) We were together since high school. I was his first serious relationship and we married eachother as virgins.

**Present day: He is 21 and I am 20**

We bought a house, then got married. Life was bliss, for about a year as expected...but we were going to college and he was working (I couldn't work due to a very demanding class schedule and he understood, so I did all I could to take are of the home/chores and cooking to make up for not bringing money in)

We decided to try for a baby( I know I know, soon, but we thought we were ready(atleast I thought, I really dont know what he was thinking, looking back at it now). We wanted children, and we had discussed it over and over and even changed our minds a couple of times. We werent in the best situation for a baby(We had money(not alot of course, but enough) and the room, and we had a plan, which I think is the best that anyone could do). So we tried for months...finally on the 4th month(last Nov.) we had conceived.

We were very happy and excited, planning the baby and all. I had problems with my back during this pregnancy so I was ordered not to do much(my joints were relaxing way too much and causing my pelvis to spread farther then it should, causing immense pain) so I tried to do most of the housework, but some days I just couldnt get it all done.
.

--All the while telling me that he was unhappy but he didnt know why, I was doing everything he asked of me, and he didnt want to leave me...but he still didnt know why he wasnt happy.--

Well, 2 weeks ago, we woke up one morning. Normal day, he initiated sex and it was one of the most passionate sessions we had in a while. He went to work, called me on his lunch break for a minute, then when he got off work (it was late) he called me to tell me he was coming home and that he loved me.

Well he came into the bedroom where I was and I gave him hug, he asked if we could talk. Sure, I said.

Well. Then he dropped the bomb.

Basically he told me he doesnt love me anymore. That he just doesnt feel it. He didnt really know why, but thats what he felt. HE wanted a divorce. HE just didnt want me anymore. Romantically we were done. He tried to hug me and comfort me but I was just too shocked to really...react. I was eerily calm, asked him if it was anyone else. HE told me there was noone and that he was completely faithful. He gave me his wedding ring. He asked me to take me to my parents.(Basically kicking me out)

I broke down while packing my stuff...called my mother to pick me up because I couldnt bear the thought of sitting in a car with him taking me home.

He locked himself in the bedroom while I waited for my mother in the kitchen. I was sobbing.

t's been almost 3 weeks, he doesnt contact me. The only time he called was when he told me he was dropping some of my stuff off at my parents house. The first stuff he packed was all of our wedding photos(because "we are done now") and he brought me all of my clothes.



His family has no idea why this is happening. I have no idea why(except for the "I dont love you"). I am giving birth in a matter of weeks. HE left me with no job, no home, no money(and he hasn't offered any), no vehicle, nothing.

I knew he was unhappy, but he told me I wasn't the problem and that he wanted this baby(our daughter). So why is he leaving me? Why have sex with me then dump me the same day? Why take me shopping for the month if he was going to get rid of me?


So many whys.


I dont think he is coming back. He is very indifferent, very dead behind the eyes. He is also adding many( I mean many, like more than 10) different strange women on facebook...most of which are very pretty and I cant compete with.



Any ideas on why he left? Should I file and give him what he wants? What should I file?? I dont want this, I want my family, I want him back...but I dont have any control. (Why do I want him back?)





I also know I wasnt a saint...but I did my best I thought, Id do anything for him and our marriage. I care for him so much, there were days where we didnt have much food and I would go without eating so he could. I appreciated him so much and always let him know. It seemed like the more I built his self confidence, the more he tore mine down in the end.

I am weeks before birth...what do I do? Will he ever come back?

How do I get over this man?

Her name is Ashlyn.

Had a dr. appt. today...and I was diagnosed with a condition called Vaginismus.
Makes sex and exams painful...and will force me to get an epidural or csection because all natural will be impossible for me.

The cause of the condition? They have no idea, but they couldn't rule out vaginal cancer.

So I will have to be treated and tested after birth...tested for cancer and treated for the condition.(I wont be able to be treated completely without a sexual partner though...I can only do pre-intercourse steps)

I called my stbxh to tell him about my condition and my testing worries(since it could effect the baby). He asked me if they tested me yet, and I said no. Then all he could tell me was that he bought a new car and would have mine down by the end of next week. (That hurt a little...I was expecting a little more compassion, but oh well)

So, yeah, Ive come to the point where I am letting him go...because I love him and I want him to be happy. I will probably always love him and I will probably not seek anyone else to remarry. But that's okay.

Atleast the baby is healthy.