I'm sick and tired of being treated like garbage by everyone.

Every person I interact with has such contempt for me. They think me an idiot and lie directly to my face as if I am being commanded to believe them though I know they're lying. People act like I'm their property to freely abuse. No one treats me like they treat other people. Even their disregard for strangers is better than the active abuse I receive from the human species. And I don't even know why they do this. Why do they hate me so much? Why can't they just treat me like a normal human being? Why are they so compelled to abuse me, even to the point where they harm themselves? I've done nothing to these people yet they act as if I'm the greatest threat in their lives. They'll lie about me, misrepresent me, and blame me for their behavior.

I would just like to know why humanity hates me before I die.

'Why' comes to my mind too. Also, how do you know for certain that everyone is always lying?

My take on this? It occurs to me that you might want to observe the behaviour of those who seem to be successfully getting along with everyone and learn what you might do differently or learn what in fact you are doing the same that supports your conclusion. Focus extra hard on what non-verbal forms of communication they use. Again, perhaps evaluate your own in comparison.

That's where their incentives lie. They gain far more from lying to me than telling the truth. If I receive the truth, it royally screws them comparatively. The only time I can trust people is if other incentives are at play. For example, the ethics structures around doctors makes acting unethically far worse for doctors than telling me lies, so I can trust them to look after their own interests by being honest.


I have been doing that exact observation for thirty years. I have duplicated their behavior exactly and that seems to only anger people more. Why do you assume I've been lazy these many decades? Maybe those assumptions are the cause of my strife...

I am sorry that you took my words to be an accusation - particularly of laziness. This was not my intention at all. Rather, I was making an attempt to offer a possible solution to this matter which ails you. I honestly believe that a great deal of miscommunication is that which is based in our non-verbal behaviour. Now I will take the opportunity to be more direct. How willing a participant are you in actively taking part in communication and dialogue with others? How positive are you being? You have to want to speak with other people for it to be a good experience.

About what types of things are they lying?

I have learned that I must put boundaries in place with people who are readily willing to lie to me. If I don't, I become a willing participant and cannot put all of the blame on them.

It's really hard to answer any questions as to why things are happen when there is no specific incident or behavior that has been presented. when someone asks why does "everyone" do something, there's really not any specifics to reply to.

My questions to you would be first can you say what these abuses are, and adding to that the question Wishful asked, how do you know for sure they are lying, who are they etc what did they lie about, some kind of context would be needed.

what is your description of the abuse you speak of, can you give any specific instances that can be addressed?

((TheUrOther)),

The fact that you struggle with Complex PTSD will make you more sensitive and less trusting. Yes, a lot of people lie and have false personas they develop, with your sensitivity you pick up on that more than others that don't seem to have a problem with the games people engage in that is often very superficial. People often don't "care' the way you do either, they are not bothered as much with the way people interact that may not have the kind of truths you need to have in that whatever you experienced was toxic and hurt you so you like to have more "safety" than others who tend to be more carefree.

I never want to talk to people; I only do so because it is extorted out of me - and that's never going to change. It would be morally wrong to consent to extortion - I'd only be encouraging more extortive acts. Once you pay the Danegeld, you never get ride of the Dane...

They lie to others about anything in regards to me; they lie to me about anything they think will help them gain power over me - nothing is off limits. Anything from getting me to lose my self esteem to tricking me into putting myself into a vulnerable position. It's steer manure 24/7.

I don't have episodic memory, so I can't give you specifics. The answers I seek need to be general-use anyway; an answer for a specific instance will only work for that instance.

They are too many to list. I'm under constant threat of violence, because people's emotions vary wildly around me and everyone is a powder-keg that can go off for any or no reason. I'm constantly being lied to, because I'm though of as being stupid enough to believe the lies. People are constantly trying to catch me in a trap so they can harm me. I can't get a job because people spread lies about me throughout the industry. These are just a sample of what I have to deal with every day.

Again, too numerous to list. My mind just piles it with the rest of my abuses and it gets processed and generalized. Narrowing down to a specific act is like trying to find a needle in a haystack - in which there is no needle.

What makes me less trusting is the fact that people have been doing this since I was a child, and they've never changed their behavior.

Their behavior is immoral; the amount of falsehood in their thoughts and speech is precisely what drives them to abuse. They believe the lies they tell about me, and that what makes them afraid and angry and willing to commit violence against me.

If they won't change, then, perhaps, you can change yours and create stronger boundaries to keep them from hurting you?

"Boundaries" are a failed strategy. Not only do people not respect my boundaries, they have open contempt for them - people actively seek to break through any boundary I set up and punish me for erecting them.

If you think my environment is one where "boundaries" make any sense, then you're not in the right mindset. I'm in a warzone; this isn't a place where people are civil - this is a place where people kill or be killed.

Can you move away from your state? I hear some parts of California are really toxic.

I can't afford to move across the street, much less out of state. It wouldn't matter anyway because people behave like this everywhere I go. The toxicity comes from human nature, not specific people - moving won't change how the human species reacts to me.

Hmmm, I find human beings are a mixed bag, some are very nice, some are medium nice and some are not very nice at all.

I have found the opposite - that human beings are effectively mentally identical. They think so much the same I cannot tell two people apart by ideas alone - if I cannot remember their faces, the are the same person to me. This makes sense, as society enforces identical behavior with an iron fist.

The only hint of difference is their random emotions - the way people's emotions change randomly every instant, two people mathematically cannot hold the same emotion at the same time. But the same trait makes them extremely dangerous; they could seem calm one moment, but flip into a violent rage the next - and there's no way to either predict when this will occur or determine what triggers it.

I find that people grossly exaggerate differences, as if they have a distorted sense of scale. They will nitpick any difference, no matter how small, and exaggerate it into a chasm of contrast. I think that's why they hate me - I am more different than anyone else is to each other by at least an order of magnitude, so their delusional minds exaggerate that difference into a monstrous boogeyman. They're so used to obsessively nitpicking the slightest variation that when they see true difference, their minds blow out.

Could it be your seeing something that isn’t truly there? I know social anxiety makes people think that others are doing them wrong.

How do I confuse a fist to my face?

How do I hallucinate broken bones?

What I'm seeing is there and people make a point of making sure I know it - they wouldn't allow me to ignore it if I wanted to.

"Anxiety" requires uncertainly at its core; there is nothing uncertain about how people think of me. In fact, your impulse to say I'm hallucinating a delusional behavior that isn't there is precisely the kind of contempt I suffer from. Why do you think I'm stupid or easily fooled? Whatever made you think this line of thinking is precisely why people disrespect, fear, and hate me. Tell me why you think this way, and it would go a long way to uncover the world's behavior.

Ok, lets assume everyone does hate you and lie to you. What can you do to tolerate it better if you cant change it?

That is the worst question to ask. Bad behavior should never be tolerated - it should always be punished until it improves. Changing myself to better tolerate abuse would signal my abusers that it is safe to abuse me, and they'd double down. That absolutely cannot happen - they must be fought against until they break. Doing anything that signals tolerance, approval, or encouragement of abusive behavior is itself as immoral as the abusive behavior, as its inevitable result is more abusive behavior.

I must stop people from hating me and lying to me or die trying, because their behavior will kill me outright if they don't stop. Because they will never consent to stop abusing me, they must be crushed and brought to heel forcibly.

I got out of Calif 12 years ago where I had lived all 54 years of my life at that time. Best move I ever made in my life. No Calif is NOT representative of how all people are in other parts if the country. But if that IS what you choose to think, that is your choice.

The thing is that what you are doing is creating a vicious circle. People treat you bad so you treat them in a way to punish them & they don't like your behavior so they treat you worse. Good luck with this approach. It is a NO WIN situation for everyone.

When someone grows up in an environment where this is what they experience in their family, it's very hard to distance from seeing other people that way. This is what children begin to think as normal human behavior.

I believe you, I believe that you have been treated badly, that you have suffered abuse and you have reached a point where you have no trust in humanity. I can see you have a lot of anger and resentment in you too. That you have started to no longer see other faces and other people but instead you are grouping all people together and how so many people need to be punished.

This is a very bad state of mind to gravitate to because this is the mindset that individuals who end up taking all their pent up anger out on ANYONE and they just want to detroy. Then when the dust settles, people find out how many of these victims were caring kind INNOCENT people.

It's very possible that you live in an area where people practice toxic behaviors, and I have read and heard about how incredibly toxic certain areas of California can be and also that it's an extremely expensive state to live in. People are stressed and frustrated because it can be hard to self sustain in some areas of your state. That is not indicitive of the entire country or ALL PEOPLE.

If you don't mind my asking how old are you? That can help with seeing what your pier group is like.

I can relate to feeling this, YES, there are people that are abusive and it's true that when you ignore it and tolerate it these people can see that as a win for them and continue to manipulate, lie, gaslight, and practice their very toxic abusive behaviors. I am experiencing that challenge myself right now. HOWEVER, this is NOT something other healthier people do.

That being said, right now with all our technology and how much more exposure we get to the dysfunction taking place in our political parties right now, it definitely IS very toxic. Again, this is not an example of how "all" people behave. There are a lot of people that are choosing to tune all this out and reduce their exposure and focus on being productive in their own lives. There is a lot of narcissism taking place in our society right now, yet, the key is making it a point to distance from how much you are exposed to the "drama".

hhhmmmm....I have an Eastern philosophy with regard to life, so I don't know that I can agree with the idea that society dictates how we act with an iron fist. Anyway, I don't think that is the important part here...

I don't hate you. I can actually relate to a lot of what you're saying. I came from a very abusive family. I'm not saying that this is true for you, but it was true for me, my family made me hate life and hate people. Everyone was mean, nasty, and out for themselves no matter the cost. I was taught that I had to hurt or risk being hurt.

My family is the cause of my C-PTSD. I was constantly in a defensive posture, ready to do battle at the first sign of someone doing something that might hurt me. I was a bitter, angry young man. At some point, I had decided that society was so horrible and I couldn't fight against it, that I tried to kill myself.

Again, that's just the effect that it had on me.

I've been to other parts of the country, and the rest are the same or worse. There's no point risking spending the rest of my life on the street only for those streets to be more hostile than the one I already live on.

That is what the evidence shows, and I don't consider obeying evidence a choice. If you can choose to ignore evidence, it shows your lack of character.

If I do not punish them, they will act worse anyway. Rewarding their bad behavior only encourages worse behavior. There is no way to create good behavior without the stick of punishment.

Furthermore, the duty to punish bad behavior lies above all things - including my own continued existence. If I were to encourage bad behavior by eschewing my duty, I would not deserve to live myself, and would be honor-bound to commit suicide. The fact that you people choose to punish me for doing the right thing simply because you "don't like" it makes you all the morally bankrupt people. Humanity is spoiled by the lack of punishment they receive and that is why they cannot be trusted to act in a non-toxic manner - they have "learned", through this lack of punishment, that there is no consequence to their actions no matter what they do - and then they make me bear those consequences by force.

Human beings know right from wrong only from punishment. An unpunished person is an untrustworthy person. Every person who has abused someone on this board did so because they were not adequately punished. The proper execution of punishment would prevent a great many traumas.

But you don't respect me - you can't; as a human being you lack the faculty at the neurological level. You will hate me; it's only a matter of time.


If my problems only came from my family, I would have radically better prospects.

My peers are just as abusive as my family was - that's the problem. There is no one who isn't abusive to me; human toxicity is universal. It is the fact that people are exclusively toxic - that zero humans treat me as an equal - that is the source of my pain. My family I can leave behind, but I'm surrounded by humanity. As long as humanity decides I am not its equal, I will always be in danger.

Thanks to humanity, I no longer have the option of continuing to live - they have inflicted injuries on me that will kill me in less than thirteen months. They have shown how far they're willing to go to eliminate what they delusionally consider a threat. Negotiating a compromise is no longer an option - it seems it never was, and my life's efforts have been a waste.

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, TheUrOther You don't deserve to suffer at all. I'm so sorry. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, TheUrOther. You're a strong, wonderful person and you deserve to live a good life. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this