Roll Call 144

Hey guys! It’s almost Friday!!!
I’ve had a good day. I went to “breakfast with the band” at my daughters school with my aunt today. Got to hang out with them for an hour or so. Came home and worked a couple hours. Then it was time for my daughter to come home. Went out for coffee with her . Now I’m just wondering where the hell my son is and why he is once again not answering my texts.
He thinks being sweet is going to get him by but I’m really considering putting him on lockdown Friday night for being an inconsiderate punk. I worry myself sick when I can’t reach him.

Oops...he was upstairs sleeping lol.

Haha too funny! 😂

T appointment went well. 😀 We are going to deal with my driving phobia and do some cognitive restructuring.

Felt depressed so I drank red wine and then started feeling weird and had a panic attack. It took 3 benzos to calm me down and fall asleep.

Idk why these things happen to me. Maybe I didn't care if I'd get a panic attack..

Glad your appointment went well SP!

Have you ever tried cognitive restructuring? I just finished writing about it in my blog if you want to read about it. Works great for anxiety.

TBH I've never heard of it. HUGS Kit

Okay, I just read about it on your blog SP. I think I sort of get it. HUGS Kit

Yeah I don’t explain it as well as a T, but it’s part of cbt....you should try it.

Got perk rewards points with my energy company. Might get an amazon card or Itunes card

Who do u use?

I read it. It sounds good. Right now I'm hungover from seroquel, alcohol and lorazepam so I took an extra methylphenidate because the vyvanse didn't work.

I feel like quite a mess. I have a quiz that my teacher sent me so I'm going to do that. Not sure if I was supposed to hand it in in class though because I was too tired to go to class.

It's really hard for me to write this. I wish I wasn't in so much mental pain.

National Grid, the perks are from JustEnergy, they work with the company and keep supply charges at a fixed rate for a certain amount of time, I'm signed up for 3 years, the supply rates are always changing and get ridiculous so it's helpful. I don't even use much electricity, the biggest charge on the bills are always supplier charges

I wouldn't recommend National Grid though. They suck but are my only option. Also I think they're only here in New York and then Massachusetts, Rhode Island and the UK

One thing I ask myself when I'm struggling with anxiety about something is: Is this going to matter in 10 years? If the answer is no (which it almost always is) then it helps me stop being anxious about it. I wonder if it is along the same lines? HUGS Kit

I need a new energy company.

Our last bill was 200

Mine was in that range for awhile. And I live in a tiny studio apartment by myself

Yeah that’s definitely one aspect of it...they give you the five questions so it covers every possibility.

With my panic, it's like "Will it matter in ten years?" , "Yes cuz im gonna die"

But each panic attack I get, I realize that my heart is healthy and can beat fast and that I'm not going to die which is why I didn't go to the hospital..

I feel amazingly calm today. Not sure if it's because I finally got a lot of sleep or from taking benadryl, either way it's nice

I don’t think the cognitive techniques work once you reach panic, you need to rely on behavior like breathing techniques until you calm a little then you can go cognitive.

It’s best thought to use th cog techniques before you panic. So say you notice a different heartbeat and think it’s bad, well what is th evidence it’s bad, what if it’s perfectly normal? Could there be alternative explainations like you were exercising or you’re experiencing anxiety or whatever. Is there any benefit to the thought? What are the costs?

If your friend were having this issue what would you say? And in your case what is the most realistic possibility that could happen.

Yeah to a friend I'd just say "Just calm, you're not going to die. It's all in your head".

I think the trigger was that on alcohol, I couldn't read well and everyone can read so there must be something wrong with me.. like how my parents can drink alcohol and be fine but when I drink, I'm not fine.. I'm spacey and can't think.. So I guess I started to panic..

It could be an effect of mixing alcohol with antipsychotics.

I read somewhere mixing Alcohol with APs multiplies the alcohol 4 fold....I’m sure it’s not the same for everyone but I can barely drink half a glass....

It's a different type of drunk too. Like it dulls thoughts and emotions so you just feel like pure awareness without opinions on what you're seeing and hearing and perception. Music just sounds like noise and you can't analyse the lyrics because words don't get through.

Horrible.. And I only drank a glass and a half..

I'm never drinking again.. It also made me not able to feel my depression.. it was like I had no emotions, just a ball of panic..