Bipolar Check-in #88 (again!)

Rehearsal tonight was very fun! Difficult in places. Brought my music home to see if I can find recordings on YouTube of the pieces I have trouble spots in. Like one piece we have to sing a D on the staff and I can’t for the life of me hear it in my head! It’s right at a page turn too.

We always do prayers at the end of rehearsal. The director asks if anybody has any things they’d like to pray for and then the director prays with us about them. Anything about politics always freaks me out! I purposefully stay away from the news because it just raises my anxiety! I get enough through osmosis that any more and I just want to curl up in a ball in a dark closet and never come out again!

We just got an email from the director about the Holy Week schedule. Omg there’s so much to do! Call time on Easter is 7 a.m.! Then there are services almost every day of the week! Good thing my car has a full tank of gas! At least that will keep me good and busy!

Tomorrow, the lady that inspects my apartment this time of year is coming between 12 and 7. This cannot be changed and I must be home the entire time. I still have to take out the trash in the morning but that’s about it. Usually, they send along a long list of items that need to be done but they didn’t send one this year! So I had to rely on my memory of past years. I hope I did ok.

My car had a flat tire. I knew it was driving funny! I took it to the place I bought all four tires four years ago and because I bought insurance for them they fixed it for free. Kevin drove it around to test it out- crazy driving you know to really see what was going on after they fixed it and he said all is well! So, I drove to church.

I went to bed at 9 feeling fine. I woke up from this weird dream where I was at some gourmet cookie and ice cream shop. I woke up at 11 wanting ice cream. So I ate a couple mini Clio bars and I fell back asleep.

Now my stomach hurts a lot but my anxiety is ok.

These withdrawels are still tough.

I wish I could just go off it all at once. I feel like that would be easier.

It always sounds like a Piink Floyd song in my room. The furance and stuff.

I fell back asleep for a bit. Now my stomach is ok but my anxiety isn't. My therapist swears it will get easier

Oh my God I feel so bad for my next door neighbor. I haven't even met her, I don't know what's going on with her, literally don't even know what she looks like, but Tuesday night all night she was up screaming and banging shyt and last night same thing (but at a lesser severity). It's annoying as shyt, but I think we all know if you're up at 3am yelling "asshole!" you're not doing too hot and could use some help.

I'm not 100% sure this building counts as "supportive housing" but it definitely has that vibe so I'm gonna write the lady in charge letting her know she's having a tough time and to check in on her. Especially considering it's kinda triggering and making me lose sleep and peace honestly.

Woke at 4 AM. Slept 8 hr. but it doesn't feel like it. I'm still sick though I think somewhat better than yesterday. Still very hoarse though a bit better. I've got the sinus pressure, headache, ear pressure, very sore throat, postnasal drip, stomach off. Allergies don't seem as bad but I've held off on the Benadryl (it's a 4-6 dose) and Mucinex D (12 hr) to see if I need them or not, if the pollen may be affecting me less. I won't know until I give those things some time off.

I am forcing myself to take a rest day from exercise. Physically, my body is exhausted. But I really hate taking rest days

Still haven't caught up on posts. HUGS to all!

I have to see my psychiatrist in person today 1.5 hours away. So, at least no work today! It's not until 1:45pm, so I feel like I'm just wasting my life away until then -- but it'll be fine. It's usually pretty quick anyway. I'll come by later and tell you how everything went. I'm not doing so hot at work-- I feel resentful and burnt out. I'll touch on that later too.

Waiting for laundry to dry, I read a bit and drew a bit. I shaded my face from yesterday (in creative corner). I have 2 versions there; I wasn't sure if the first was too dark so I lightened it up. I'd love it if anyone would take a look there and let me know which they like best. I also drew a tern as birds are fast becoming one of my favorites to drew

Apartment ready to go. I’m showered and dressed. Took the trash out. They are getting here somewhere between 12 and 7. I can practice my music I guess!

@raspberrytorte Sometimes you can have PMS symptoms halfway through your cycle, during ovulation. I commonly do. On the other hand, with perimenopause, who knows? My periods are still regular, just crazy light. My app says my period is due in 4 days which means probably any day now...ugh! My last cycle was 13 DAYS!!!

Drat. Fever is back Took some Tylenol and am heading back to bed.
I'm freezing cold.

Hope you feel better @Blueberrybook. When I was sick and went to urgent care (had an upper respiratory infection not COVID or the flu) the doc said I could take 1000mg every 6 hours. I was only taking 500mg because that was one pill. Not sure if anyone else does that, but just passing the info along that if it's not long term and you haven't been told by a doctor or pharmacist otherwise 1000mg is ok (and works way better if you have a headache).

He said Mucinex is good stuff too. Didn't try that, but I know you said you got some of that Blueberry the other day. Hopefully it does something.

Good morning. Took a walk to the library and got some books. Im home now and I’m just relaxing. About to make breakfast. I slept well 8 1/2 hours.

Probably gonna get on the treadmill later. Mood is good. Anxiety is low.

I need to get new shoes. The ones I have I’ve been wearing since November 2023. Yeah I know. I should have gotten new shoes a long time ago. And I walk most places. And am on the treadmill a lot too. So they’re very worn out. So in a couple weeks I’m gonna buy new shoes. Probably two pairs of the cloud foam addidas since they’re lightweight and good for walking. So that way if one wears out I have a backup pair. My current shoes are Nike air max. They definitely need to be replaced.

Wow 12-7 is a large window of time. That would drive me crazy waiting around for them. Here during inspections there’s a 1 hour window early in the day. So it’s done and over with quick then I can relax and enjoy the rest of my day

@Blue_Bird how in the name of the gravy bowl did you make your shoes last that long!?!?!? I swear if I can get my shoes to last a year, that's like a record. You gotta tell me what brand they are because that's what I'm getting for my next pair if they fit well enough.

Haha Nike air max. Let me take a pic of the soles to show you how worn they are. They’re basically no grip on them at all anymore

It’s mostly me being stubborn about buying new shoes for myself. I hate spending money on clothes and shoes lol but yeah I should have replaced them a LONG time ago. Plus I was wearing them through 9 hour shifts on my feet when I was working retail

Nice. How are the insides though? They’re not all ripped up and making your heels bleed or anything? Usually my toes start poking through or they start ripping my heels up pretty good.

Definitely replace them before an ice storm though!!!

Good morning everybody. Feeling good this morning - could have rested more - CPAP says 9 1/2 hours of sleep, so I guess that's good. Only had 6 the night before.

Today is an odd feeling to an odd day. It's very cloudy and rainy out, and I don't have to go out till later. Got a call from another sponsee of mine who is about to be homeless. I directed her to the rehab I went to. At least she's not calling asking for crazy favors like my other friend did. I hope she's okay too - I never texted her back either, she causes me so much anxiety.

Things are going well with my ex, more open communication now, a lot better than it was. But I feel strange - like I said, I woke up with an odd, eerie feeling. Maybe it's just a sign of me needing to be more grateful, I have to work on that.

I hope you feel better @Blueberrybook and @Blue_Bird those AirMax shoes last forever! I have a pair too, and it's been almost 2 years. I walk around with a backup pair of Skechers. @raspberrytorte - I empathize with the period woes - for me I am always changing sheets or clothes cause it's so ridiculous when it comes, but I am lucky to never have the aches and pains. I used to years ago. I think I may be approaching menopause too because the hair just stopped growing from my legs - I think that's a sign.

Other than that, I hope everyone enjoys their Friday!

She usually comes between 2 and 3. We’ll see.

Just recently the fabric is starting to come off the heal part and there’s like a plastic part in there so that’s why I’m replacing them in a couple weeks cause I know that’ll probably start causing problems

Oh and yeah that’s probably why I slipped and fell on ice this winter lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by MuddyBoots @Blue_Bird how in the name of the gravy bowl did you make your shoes last that long!?!?!? I swear if I can get my shoes to last a year, that's like a record. You gotta tell me what brand they are because that's what I'm getting for my next pair if they fit well enough.

My current shoes have lasted about that long, but I'm in need of new ones. Mine are Brooks Ravenna but they no longer make the style I have and love

Quote:

Originally Posted by MuddyBoots Hope you feel better @Blueberrybook. When I was sick and went to urgent care (had an upper respiratory infection not COVID or the flu) the doc said I could take 1000mg every 6 hours. I was only taking 500mg because that was one pill. Not sure if anyone else does that, but just passing the info along that if it's not long term and you haven't been told by a doctor or pharmacist otherwise 1000mg is ok (and works way better if you have a headache). He said Mucinex is good stuff too. Didn't try that, but I know you said you got some of that Blueberry the other day. Hopefully it does something.

Thanks so much. I have been taking 2 of the capsules since that's what it says in the directions (I have generic acetaminophen rather than brand name Tylenol) though not to exceed 6 in 24 hr. Yesterday I took 4. Today so far just one dose of 2. I wish I could take NSAIDs as I think that they work better (especially for the sinus headache stuff) and last longer, but I can't after having ulcer surgery.

@LadyShadow - Thanks for the get-well wishes. Fever broke for now, and I hope it doesn't come back. My leg hair stopped growing too, and I posted about it in the women's issues section, and yep, I got responses that said that was common as perimenopause/menopause approaches.

I feel better. I think it just comes in waves. But I did legit eat breakfast and I worked out which also helped. I went to Kohls because I'm getting tired of ordering stuff online and waiting a week. My pcp was right I think. Prestiq can cause fatique. I was at Kohls for about half an hour looking around and I even tried on the stuff instead of just assuming it would fit. One shirt was too big so I went back for a different size and found another shirt in the same same as the second one that they didn't have in the original size I had chosen. So trying them on was the right thing.

But so far things seem the toughest around 3PM-7PMand 3AM-6AM. I'm hoping things are improving until the next round on Tuesday.

Went into town to deposit some checks and get my holds from the library. Ugh! My stomach really didn't like that car ride! I hope the nausea settles down. I wouldn't have bothered, but my holds were about to expire and H was adamant I deposit these checks because they are a bit of supplemental income he is paid from consulting to an engineering program at another college funded by the federal government, and he said who knows what but that Trump will do something crazy and suddenly he can't cash those checks? It wasn't a lot of money, but nothing to sneeze at either. Got the deposit done and my books and made it home.

H called and we will be getting that extensive work done on our pipes (all the pipes redone but a small section that was redone about 6 months ago). The foundation company our house is insured with does this pipework too, and further, they told us our garage (attached to the house) is sinking and needs 5 additional support piers put in. It's still going to be expensive $17,500 for the pipes and the foundation piers together, but much better than the quote we had of $35,000 for the pipes alone from another company. It will take a chunk of our savings (which, ugh could have been used towards a better car) but all we need is more pipes rusting through and stopped up sinks and sewage smells in the house (house was built in the mid-1960s). H had gotten a pretty good fix routing the sink pipe in the master bathroom to drain into the bathtub, but it still started smelling until I poured bleach down there and who knows how long that will last? Work is going to start Monday, and we won't have plumbing Tuesday. H will be going to work; my daughter and I staying over at my youngest sister's house provided I'm well by then.