Bipolar Check-in #89

Honestly bluberrybook i think these are art fair quality! 4 of your framed assorted fruits and veg would be so cute in someones kitchen! Somehow they have such a cheery personality!

I agree with UnaLuna your pantings and drawing have personality. That’s a fantastic thing to have way more important than just being technically good. Your stuff has soul.

Idk why but my GI issues have massivly improved. I think my issue was that I was chugging multiple 16.9oz bottles of water a day. Now I just take sips out of a gallon of water that lasts me 3 days.

My mom and therapist always said I drank too fast.

I’m still having symptoms! Anxious, hypomanic. Nobody will talk with me. It’s 1 pm and I have no idea what to do with myself! Already ate lunch. Choir is at 7:15- a million hours away!

So your drs cleared you to drink soda? Good to know.

As Cher said, Get ahold of yourself! Find one of those depression lists that the DBT and other groups have of 50 good things to do.

Finding such a list can be the first thing!

Thanks for the compliments and my paintings I need to remind myself I started painting with watercolors not even 2 weeks ago, and I never really used them since I was 5 or 6 years old. I actually haven't painted art ever much really, not even in art class in high school. I think we had one oil painting project before moving on to something else.

They never had an issue with it before really. I remember talking to the receptionists about the new sodas that came out.

But anyways I'm not having any issues right now so need to worry.

Therapy went fine. I was doing it with one curtain open and my light turned off and under 2 blankets. But shes cool when I'm like this. We talked a bit and then did our somatic excercises the last 15 minutes.

She just knows what to say and how to say it correctly and shes not dissmissive and she allows outside contact and she talks about her own life and isnt a blank slate.

I cant believe what im hearing, but now it makes sense why you continue to drink them. I am not worried. You should worry. Really.

Sodas are bad for your esophagus and your stomach ulcer. They are why you puke "gee out of the blue, must be the flu!"

Your drs orders are orders UNTIL THEY TELL YOU OTHERWISE. Not just for a few days. No coffee, no soda.

You gotta be trolling me. Alright, i will shut up.

Watching YouTube .

Had therapy today. I do 2x a week. She complemented my ability to see grey in situations. I told her if I didn't I wouldn't talk to any family. I also told her about we ran over time but we are going to work on reality testing and safety. She encouraged me to reach out but not to let my friend process her feelings with me as that may confuse me more. I don't think I'm going to reach out though. I don't need more confusing feelings about this. I'm making chicken gesso for dinner with rice. I'm not doing good home alone today. Hopefully my husband will be back in about 2.5 hours. I just have to keep busy until then. I have to call and reschedule my appointment for my injection today too. Lots of things going on, lots of messy feelings. Everything sucks. My parents come Tuesday too. I'm not ready for that.

Just another bad day with work, it's just getting worse and worse, and I don't know what to do. I applied for a few more jobs. I was hoping to hear from the lady in Tarboro that the couple in my Legion told me about, but she hasn't called either. It's just so disheartening, but I am trying to stay positive.

I am thinking that life is just so precious, and we only get one shot at it like my friend was trying to remind me of. I am grateful for the things I have, and have to be more grateful every day even though it's sometimes hard to do.

@Blueberrybook - you have some really nice paintings. The watercolors are bright and lively and have a lot of personality to them, they are really nice.

Thats my usual!

Got invited out by my coffee buddy. N3 and I are going to meet before choir this evening.

@LadyShadow - I'm praying you will find the right job soon. Sometimes it is so easy to forget we do have a lot to be thankful for, to take the things we have for granted. It's so easy to focus on what we don't have but we are blessed in so many ways. Still, struggling with finances is hard. We still don't have it easy, but it's better for us than when H was out of work and when he taught high school. I'm sorry you're not doing well home alone @Victoria'smom.

Exquisite drawing wow I love this!

Good afternoon. Walked to the library earlier today to return some books. I’ve gotta go back there on Saturday to pick up some requests.

I was feeling tired in the afternoon so I laid down and fell asleep for 2 hours. Just woke up a few minutes ago and it’s going on 3:30pm. I don’t normally take naps like that but I was feeling really tired.

I’m looking forward to the weekend. Sunday I have my volunteer shift with the rescue cats.

I’m doing pretty good. Mood is good

Hope you’re all doing well

Thanks for being here everyone. My h is almost home now. I put the rice on. Victoria says she'll eat too. Not with us just the same meal. it's been a long walk for him 2 miles to get to the Dr and back. I called and cancelled my injection appointment. Now I wait 72 hours, so Tuesday, to see when I can get in. I just don't have the money to go. Pt1 is too hard to set up and unreliable. Plus I don't have an escort on my account and I am not get in a car with a stranger. I don't care who they say they are.

I took a a 2nd nap tonight from 7pm till 9:40pm. Good lord I slept a lot today. Anyway, thought I’d pop in to share some cute pics of Mustachio and Papi. Just took my night meds

Hugs to everyone that needs one

Aw thanks blue bird. I love pet pictures.

@Moose72 Steroids have a psychological effect on me. Well, prednisone does anyway. More than 10 mg and it makes me manic. Since being diagnosed with bipolar disorder, prednisone is the only steroid I've been on though so I don't know if others would also impact my mood.

Yes! Me too! This time I took 40 mg per day for 5 days! Another time I took it I had a panic attack. This time I was manic and destroyed my relationship with Scott! He hasn’t responded to anything I’ve written to try to patch things up.

Today ended up being better than I thought it would. The school day was pretty laid back. Considering tomorrow is the last day of school, behavior wasn't to bad. And, I got dinner with a few of my coworkers. I didn't even get home until about 7 pm, which saved me some anxiety. I'm noticing my anxiety is much worse when I'm at home. For example, as soon as I got in my car to go home from dinner my anxiety started to spike. Part of it is a somewhat paralyzing fear I'm going to make the wrong choice even over the little things, like what to do next.

Tomorrow will hopefully be a quick day at school. My guess is a lot of students won't even come because we are only at school for about 2 and a half hours and then the students are sent on their way for summer vacation. It's mainly a day of babysitting.

I've had a lot of "well everyone must hate me/I'm not important to anyone" thoughts in my head for the last week or so. Sometimes, I get those when I am getting paranoia from hypomania, but I think this time it's anxiety fueling these thoughts.

Highlights from today were dinner with my coworkers and getting a very thoughtful gift from a student.

Well it's FINALLY Friday afternoon. Fortunately I don't teach last period on a Friday. Do need to stick around for another hour and a half though.