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#476
Oct 02, 2015, 07:36 AM
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I feel like I am doing so much better but yet I have people react to my anger and then start to ignore me. I explain myself and I really don't feel like my anger is that out of control anymore. So at this point I have to say the sometimes the problem really does live with other people. I know that sounds like a typical borderline thing to say but at this point I feel it's the truth
Sent from my LGL34C using Tapatalk |
 Kek de la Doge
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#477
Oct 03, 2015, 05:08 AM
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Was discharged from hospital Monday. Praying I recover. Put back on meds, feel like I've gone backwards since dbt. The sessions finished I got abandonment fears and freaked out. So disappointed in myself
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Verity  
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| ThunderGoddess
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#478
Oct 03, 2015, 06:28 AM
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Been 1 week since i've ended internship, I feel my life going back to normal
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#479
Oct 03, 2015, 01:11 PM
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Feel like I dropped my guard off. For one moment, I lowered the wall of faked feelings of superiority, because of sympathy. And then I was - metarophically speaking of course - stabbed by a thousand spears. What has sympathy given me besides pain? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. And yet I keep on, desperately trying to garner attention, hoping, HOPING so much to just.... just be loved. But it ain't going to happen, no matter how hard I try, and trust me: I try a LOT.
Feel so lied to. Women... women only bring me pain. I even fail at internet relationships, haha, how pathetic can a person be... So to hell with them. Who needs them anyway? So back to faking superiority I go. This time I won't drop my guard. Isn't worth it. I'm alone and I'll stay alone forever. For the better. For ME.
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 "I said sour, as in puss" |
| Lonlin3zz, ThunderGoddess
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#480
Oct 04, 2015, 01:01 PM
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hey
Feeling like i want to self destruct want drink and drugs my husband is in the way of this he stops me from doing things like this i feel like he don't want me to have fun but i know he trying to keep me safe and not hurt myself 
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#481
Oct 04, 2015, 08:32 PM
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Feeling pretty accomplished today. 1 roommate in and 1 more to come and I still have the house sparkling clean, plan on keeping it that way
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 Just keep swimming I have BPD or Autism or both, we may never know, the focus is always the symptoms, not the diagnosis  |
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#482
Oct 04, 2015, 08:56 PM
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trying to be respectful to myself as well as to my mother while also being an adult and try to earn money for the simple task of wanting to move out is wearing me out. Things have been a lot better between me and my mom as of recently but we clash in opinions about so many different things, and I am just geuinely exasusted from deal with this.
all of this makes me look at myself and feel ashamed not of what I am doing in my life. But over the fact that my family claims they know who I am as person and they honestly don't and if they were to truly know who I was they would probably be ashamed of it. which feeds into my depression and misery in my life.
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Dx:OCD, AD/HD-C and ADD kinda both, General Anxiety Disorder, Separation Anxiety Disorder,Abandonment Anxiety, Cycothymic disorder, or mixed bipolar, Border Line Personality Disorder,Histonic Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality disorder, eating disorder ]Rx:Lamotrigine 25mg twice a day for my mood stablizer as well as I am on Escitalopram 10mg 1 daily, Buspirone 3 times daily 10mgs VT Student, CNA student, working HHA  for my father I think of you everyday
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| ThunderGoddess
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#483
Oct 04, 2015, 09:01 PM
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Having trouble with anger... not at anyone in particular, just frustrated with people in general. I don't understand how people can be so stupid and not realize it. I've had to stop going on facebook almost completely because of some of the crap that keeps coming up... just idiotic comments by people I don't even know. But it makes me so frustrated... I feel like I'm the only person who understands how screwed up the human race is. Like I'm the only one who gets that we're a waste of space and that we don't deserve to even exist. Sometimes I wish we'd all go extinct. And sometimes I wish I could make that happen.
The older I get, the more cynical I become. I'm only 22, and this is the kind of stuff that goes through my head on a pretty regular basis. Usually I try to ignore it by focusing on how good my fiance makes me feel, but some days it's hard to see past the crap that's happening in the rest of the world. He's the opposite of me... so much hope and kindness for people. All I can see is failure and destruction. I wonder if I feel like this because my birthday is coming up... it's just a reminder that another year has passed and nothing has changed in the world. And there's nothing I can do about it. |
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#484
Oct 05, 2015, 01:33 AM
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Had an attack of horrible emotional upheaval brought about simply because my hubby didn't get food lol. In my mind I have been making sure he is fed when he works and this being the weekend I felt neglected that there was nothing for me as I worked nights and had to get up early for something I had volunteered to help with. He meant no harm but when he told me to make a peanut butter sandwich I was so mad, lol. I refused to make a fool of myself and kept my emotions private rather than taking them out on him other than to verbalize annoyance to which he got peeved and went upstairs. I was in tears and telling myself no one cares, no one bothers...... Even thinking of that movie "V for Vendetta" and how I would only be free when I truly gave up any fear of anything. Omg outrageous emotional stuff. I didn't think I'd be able to follow thru with my volunteer commitment and I knew this would upset me more. So I rinsed my face and made myself pull if together, grabbed the kids and we did our good deed. As I knew would be the case, it made me feel good and the emotions felt minimal and dumb. I have come a long way though as there was a time when this would have consumed me for lengthy amounts of time and more drama. I still need to cope better but for coming this far on my own with minimal therapy, I think it's not too shabby..... .
Sent from my LGL34C using Tapatalk |
 Angelique67, Pierro, ThunderGoddess
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#485
Oct 05, 2015, 03:40 PM
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unsure how to do the spoiler thing
WARNING TRIGGERING Me v Train = death |
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#486
Oct 06, 2015, 04:17 AM
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feel like no one cares
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| ThunderGoddess
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#487
Oct 06, 2015, 04:32 AM
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I care man. You seem in a lotta pain. From your username I guess you're a death metal fan? Message me on my profile we can talk if you want
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"I said sour, as in puss" |
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#488
Oct 06, 2015, 10:31 AM
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I did something last night that I should have done years ago. I unfriended my family members. I had them on my Facebook so that I could keep in touch but they have forgotten about me and my son. I am feeling pretty bitter right now and will be shocked if anyone notices I unfriended them.
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Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
| Fuzzybear, ThunderGoddess
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#489
Oct 06, 2015, 10:50 AM
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Family can be a source of great pain and joy. I often share my struggles with my daughter. She is 10 and sometimes drives me crazy. I worry that when she is a teen she will not want mom anymore but for now she hugs me tight and I hug her when either of us feel blue. The boys of the house don't get it. But no matter what happens we had this time and I'm grateful despite the fact that I'm having such a hard time otherwise
Sent from my LGL34C using Tapatalk |
| ThunderGoddess
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#490
Oct 06, 2015, 11:47 AM
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Feeling sad today about the bad things that have happened this month. I think I will look over the distress tolerance handouts hopefully get a handle on this.
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Just keep swimming I have BPD or Autism or both, we may never know, the focus is always the symptoms, not the diagnosis |
| Anonymous37831
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#491
Oct 06, 2015, 04:14 PM
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keep losing my temper
**** knows how am going to cope tomorrow with no food and no water ****ing hate hospitals
__________________
 Hold it all together Everybody needs you strong But life hits you out of nowhere And barely leaves you holding on And when youre tired of fighting Chained by your control Theres freedom in surrender Lay it down and let it go |
| Anonymous37831
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#492
Oct 08, 2015, 03:13 PM
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i hate myself and i want to die
__________________
Hold it all together Everybody needs you strong But life hits you out of nowhere And barely leaves you holding on And when youre tired of fighting Chained by your control Theres freedom in surrender Lay it down and let it go |
| Anonymous37831
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#493
Oct 08, 2015, 04:23 PM
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Death metal pm me any time if you want to talk . I don't know you but I do care and I relate to self loathing .
Hugs Sophie Sent from my GT-S6810P using Tapatalk |
| Angeluk, Anonymous37831
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| Angeluk
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#494
Oct 08, 2015, 04:45 PM
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I'm on edge right now. I've just moved into a rough area and someone keeps knocking on my door late at night . my mind is doing over time wondering what this person is up to ( I have an idea which neighbor he is and he seems to have bad charactor ) I just sense it . he acts overly friendly when he sees me but I'm wary of people like that . grrrrrrrrrr I shouldn't have to feel on edge behind closed doors . I never answer and never will . knock in the daytime or never knock at all .
Sent from my GT-S6810P using Tapatalk |
| Anonymous37831, moodycow
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#495
Oct 08, 2015, 04:48 PM
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Quote:
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| moodycow
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| cryingontheinside
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#496
Oct 08, 2015, 11:05 PM
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Knowing my passion for outer space, my mom bought me a book on early theories and present space travel!!! It's great, it definitely keeps me distracted!
But I'm still sick. I'm past the 3 month mark of when I first got sick, and recently it's been getting worse quicker. Luckily my best friend is looking out for me, helping me communicate with my mom about what I need and such. Unfortunately she lives so far away... I've been working on my first DBT skill lately and as of two days ago, I'm officially free of psychotic symptoms!!! First time in 3 years that I've gone without at least a quiet voice in my head! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| Anonymous37831
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| Angelique67
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#497
Oct 09, 2015, 02:26 AM
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Because of the meds I'm on, I can't experience any elation & I have no mood swings. Just the very bored & annoyed neutral state.
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| Anonymous37831
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#498
Oct 09, 2015, 11:55 AM
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I think I am finally going to ask about doing a dbt workbook with a therapist or something at my psych appointment today. I think this current episode is telling me that I need to get over these unresolved feelings and it will hopefully help with the soul crushing anxiety and obsessive thoughts.
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#499
Oct 09, 2015, 11:59 AM
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GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR hypocrites !! (nobody here)
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The world is not blind it does not want to see !!! dx severe Depression Gad Social phobic Borderline pd part time insomniac |! 
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| Anonymous37831
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#500
Oct 09, 2015, 02:15 PM
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Quote:
thank you for caring * hugs *
__________________
Hold it all together Everybody needs you strong But life hits you out of nowhere And barely leaves you holding on And when youre tired of fighting Chained by your control Theres freedom in surrender Lay it down and let it go |
| Anonymous37831
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.
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