[Breaking Dawn]

I'm trying & wishing to find strength this morning, physical & mental. My sadness & lack of willpower are draining me & my spirit.

[Buffy01]

I have been feeling really awful lately. I have been trying to do activities that will help me feel better.

[Rose60]

Today I feel like I am trapped, like I am tucked into sadness. Am trying to do some cleaning in the home but have to sit down from time to time because I cannot concentrate because of sadness. I hadn't expected this after feeling so full of hope yesterday.

[MimiBhaduri0]

Originally Posted by Rose60

Today I feel like I am trapped, like I am tucked into sadness. Am trying to do some cleaning in the home but have to sit down from time to time because I cannot concentrate because of sadness. I hadn't expected this after feeling so full of hope yesterday.

Hope you feel better soon Rose60.

[will19]

My day has barely gotten started as of right now. I woke up this morning and kept thinking I should cancel my trip (just like I did last year!). It's like why should I go there? It's going to cost money for the trip and then if I decide to move to that place, then it might not be as beneficial as I think it could. On the other hand, my money is definitely going to run out if I stay unless if I could get financial help of some kind. At where I live, there are thousands applying for financial help and there's not enough money to help everyone who requests. My only friend, who is not a great quality person, thinks I shouldn't do this. He hasn't offered or come up with any kind of help.

At where I live the amenities are great and probably much better than where I'm going to move to. There's not much greatness in people at where I am. I hardly have any friends and I feel like the people surrounding me do not think the same way I do. It's been that way for a long time and I don't see that part getting better anytime soon. My neighbors are not friendly and I feel like I try to be nice to others.

I guess it's just a fear of failure on my part, I don't know.

[Buffy01]

I wished that I could feel good again instead of feeling down all the time.

[Violetta75]

I'm getting fearful of the future for all humanity. It doesn't help that i'm watching the news and prepper videos, and threats of doom and gloom ahead. I have no friends if I needed one, and very limited family, one is very far from me. I'm so lonely. As I get older without a partner I feel like my future is going to be bleak. I've always been ok with just a couple of friends, but I don't feel i have that. They are there, but it's always me that iniates a text or a call, so i know i'm not on their mind. I'm so anxious hearing about all the stuff that might happen soon, but i also believe hard, very hard times are coming.

[Mountaindewed]

I am for sure feeling the SAD today. My mom thinks its just because the baby came and stuff and now theres nothing to look forward to. But the baby coming was a huge relief since it was a complicated and nerve wracking birth. So I think its just the start of a possibly bad SAD season.

[Rose60]

Originally Posted by Violetta75

I'm getting fearful of the future for all humanity. It doesn't help that i'm watching the news and prepper videos, and threats of doom and gloom ahead. I have no friends if I needed one, and very limited family, one is very far from me. I'm so lonely. As I get older without a partner I feel like my future is going to be bleak. I've always been ok with just a couple of friends, but I don't feel i have that. They are there, but it's always me that iniates a text or a call, so i know i'm not on their mind. I'm so anxious hearing about all the stuff that might happen soon, but i also believe hard, very hard times are coming.

Yes, it is scary times ...

[Rose60]

I am a bit up and down for the time being. I can have some good hours, then being tired and down the next hours. Some inner anger and hopelessness as well.

[MimiBhaduri0]

Trying to take one day at a time and make it through the day. The oxygen supply to my brain is a bit better but it could be a little more to make me feel less tired the whole day. The physical pain is less as well. But the several mild to moderate panic attacks I have through the day leave me feeling terribly lonely and restless and anxious about the future. I am really worried about the future...feel hopeless at times. Also find it difficult to get out of the house, not because I am scared to go out but because I have too low energy. Still hanging in there.

[will19]

I'm feeling gloomy today. I guess it's because it's a cloudy day. I kind of like cloudy days and prefer them over hot and sunny days. However, it's just a cloudy day that seems to have hanging haze. At least I would like it to rain or drizzle.

I split up with my only friend yesterday. For those on here, who know me, you might notice that it's many times I have said that. That's because it's happened so many times. Splitting up gets me down but so does having a lousy quality friend. This time, unlike other times, I have blocked him from calling me. The reason I end up going back with him is because he calls and cries. And then I'm lonely and he doesn't have much going for him. It goes great for a while when we get back and then the crap happens again. It's like we both don't learn.

Also, this morning before getting out of bed, I was thinking to myself that I'm letting go the ones close to me. I don't know if it's because I may have ridiculously high standards or if the people I've been surrounded with are bad.

[3rd rock]

They say that you're supposed to be a champion of your own work, and that if you can't get excited about your own work you can't expect anyone else to. But by the time I'm finished with a project, I'm sick of it and I've become convinced it's the worst thing ever written. I just want to be done with it and forget it ever existed. I don't see how I'm supposed to enthusiastically promote something under that mindset.

[T4bbyCat]

Originally Posted by Violetta75

I'm getting fearful of the future for all humanity. It doesn't help that i'm watching the news and prepper videos, and threats of doom and gloom ahead. I have no friends if I needed one, and very limited family, one is very far from me. I'm so lonely. As I get older without a partner I feel like my future is going to be bleak.

Yes, the times are certainly uncertain... I don't know what'll happen with all the threats across the globe.

I don't really have anyone, either... going off to live somewhere remote sounds pretty appealing if I can manage self-sufficiency. That's the problem, though... friends and contacts exist to help out one another during dire straits, so whoever you do know may be very valuable.

[Rose60]

I am glad I decided to become a member here. It is good to have a place to be some kind of anonymous, behind a nick-name where people in the real world cannot identify you.

I have come to the conclusion that I self-sabotage in some ways (If I told my friends in the real world about my discovery, they would have thought that I was mad). It's a bit scary, but at least I am on the waiting list for a CBT therapist. I read some articles online that tells that self-sabotaging can be treated the same way as other behavior.

That gives me hope.

[Rose60]

I have more to say this day. I have had an appointment with an eye doctor. My eyes are generally fine. I am only to use eye drops for one week.

With regard to my psychological health I have remembered that all is not about my depression, but about my anxiety as well and the self-sabotage I mentioned in my last post (may be more). I don't care as long as it is treatable. I am glad that I am able to find out as much as possible before I meet my CBT therapist.

CBT is not, as probably some of you know already, a therapy where the therapist is going to cure you. Instead it is about looking about how the client (I don't think they use the label 'patient') uses the tools to see the links between THINKING - FEELINGS - BEHAVIOUR and the other way around and then tries to make new nerve pathways in the brain between new thinking patterns and new behavior. One trains to become ones own therapist so to speak. When behavior and thinking changes, emotions will do so as well. One does the change gradually (therapist and client find the best tools for presented problems together) before the patient starts to move on and uses the new tools on her/his own without the therapist. It can seem as a quick fix, but it is a lot of work to do along the road.

I do look forward too start the therapy.

(Sorry for ranting. I am not trying to disqualify other methods that therapists can use. I am only sharing that for me this is probably the best I can do for myself for the time being).

[TheGal]

Good for you, @Rose60... the CBT sounds promising... have you heard of Schema work ? It is often used to further the CBT work... your therapist might bring it up...

I debate whether the thoughts come first or whether the feelings come first... it's sort of a 'chicken or the egg dilemma'... but whatever works....

Hope you have an excellent day today!

[Rose60]

Originally Posted by TheGal

Good for you, @Rose60... the CBT sounds promising... have you heard of Schema work ? It is often used to further the CBT work... your therapist might bring it up...

I debate whether the thoughts come first or whether the feelings come first... it's sort of a 'chicken or the egg dilemma'... but whatever works....

Hope you have an excellent day today!

No, I have never heard about "Schema work". I have read about CBT and find that approach attractive. It "corresponds" with my own private thinking about how "things" hang together. I know about the home work, and am not afraid of it. I am looking forward to it.

I do not think that all here should seek that kind of treatment. We are not alike ... I only explained what it is about, so that the others here know what I am talking about if I ever will talk about my therapy (probably no talking about THAT, just in case). I mean I will not feel well if I come here and talk about my therapist. The way I see it, that would be a violation of the therapeutic rules between therapist and client. It will interfere with the process that is supposed to be between the two of us only.

I don't think this is a debate forum! As far as I have understood it is a "thread" where people come and tell a bit about how they are feeling. Some have a bad day, others a very good day and want to tell about that.

I don't want to discuss "Schema works", neither the chicken or the egg. Please respect that!

By the way, I feel fine today. Hope your day is fine as well!

[MimiBhaduri0]

Not too well today. The physical pain has been more today.

[Rose60]

Originally Posted by MimiBhaduri0

Not too well today. The physical pain has been more today.

Sorry to hear that, Mimi. Hope you will feel better soon!