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  #701  
Old May 28, 2017, 09:42 PM
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anais_anais anais_anais is offline
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I was only 9 but I remember being very sad (and my mom was in absolute shock) but on the other hand, I remember feeling pretty indifferent about 9/11. I think I just couldn't comprehend the size of it. Then again I was numb to just about everything by that age.
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  #702  
Old May 28, 2017, 09:43 PM
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lucozader lucozader is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artemis-within View Post
so he's actually a manipulative narcissist... that could be too.... I don't know. it's always mysterious, undiagnosable medical conditions.
Erm. Well. Seems more like it could be that to me. Being married to a manipulative narcissist doesn't sound very fun...

Does he actually go to the doctor about these mysterious medical conditions?
  #703  
Old May 28, 2017, 09:46 PM
Anonymous54879
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I can say that overall I'm content with my life because I accepted the choices I made for myself. I can't have children- I could've chose to try and adopt but my H and I chose not to. I accepted this decision we made together and no longer feel a piece missing. I could've finished my degree to become a teacher, I chose not to do that and make a career out of being a nanny. I accepted this decision I made for myself and now enjoy it. Right before my H and I got married, I was going to leave him. I chose to stay. I accepted this decision which meant accepting all of him just as he accepts all of me.
Life isn't always a walk in park. There are many ups and downs. And sure there are always some ongoing goals. Lose weight, try to save some money, get more active, get out and find a way to meet more people, etc...
But I'm content. I didn't settle. I'm content.
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  #704  
Old May 28, 2017, 09:47 PM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artemis-within View Post
so he's actually a manipulative narcissist... that could be too.... I don't know. it's always mysterious, undiagnosable medical conditions.
How did we go from hypochondriac to manipulative narcissist so fast?

Future ex was both, but I would say his hypochondria was a very small part of his narcissism. Though I am sure that varies between narcissists.

And art, if you don't want to fill in his lineup, say no. Is that an option?

Quote:
Originally Posted by lucozader View Post
Being married to a manipulative narcissist doesn't sound very fun... ?
What are you talking about? It's a laugh a minute...not.
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  #705  
Old May 28, 2017, 09:48 PM
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unaluna unaluna is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lucozader View Post
Wow!

I was eleven years old and a bit mystified by all the hysteria. I'm absolutely a republican (in the UK sense, not a Trump voter!) now but I do understand that she was totally a good'un.
Yeah i was thinking, i was born the year Elizabeth became queen, so Di was younger but still more my age group. I'm not even thinking politically, but more existentially, really the princess and the pauperess.
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  #706  
Old May 28, 2017, 09:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoConfused623 View Post
Showering is hugely important to me. I shower EVERY DAY and sometimes 2x per day in the summer. The other day I woke up super late and didn't get to shower and couldn't seem to work it into my schedule and felt miserable all Day. I probably only not shower once a year.
My heaven is definitely going to have showers and pizza and juicy oranges and marijuana.
I will join in that heaven!
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LonesomeTonight, SoConfused623, unaluna
  #707  
Old May 28, 2017, 09:49 PM
Anonymous43207
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lucozader View Post
Erm. Well. Seems more like it could be that to me. Being married to a manipulative narcissist doesn't sound very fun...

Does he actually go to the doctor about these mysterious medical conditions?
Yes sometimes and they can't find anything wrong cuz he's fine by the time he goes.
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  #708  
Old May 28, 2017, 09:50 PM
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unaluna unaluna is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artemis-within View Post
so he's actually a manipulative narcissist... that could be too.... I don't know. it's always mysterious, undiagnosable medical conditions.
That just sounded like a panic attack to me. How is he at the poker tables, does he freak out like that then too?
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  #709  
Old May 28, 2017, 09:51 PM
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DodgersMom DodgersMom is offline
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Random thought

Wish you could see my husky, he is sound to sleep with 2 fans blowing on him. Not spoiled or anything
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  #710  
Old May 28, 2017, 09:53 PM
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unaluna unaluna is offline
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We should be making like a remote quilt or something.
  #711  
Old May 28, 2017, 09:55 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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Not until you take a shower
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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  #712  
Old May 28, 2017, 09:55 PM
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lucozader lucozader is offline
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Basically, Art, if he's making s**t up because he's too lazy to do stuff that is really terrible, manipulative behaviour. (Also extremely childish... Like, four year old level?)

If he's really suffering, whether it's 'all in his head' or not, then he deserves your sympathy and your help, even if it's hard sometimes. He does need to do his best to help himself, though, and if doctors can't do anything for him, perhaps he needs anxiety meds or therapy?

I guess only you can surmise which of those things it is.
  #713  
Old May 28, 2017, 09:55 PM
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Squirrel1983 Squirrel1983 is offline
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Hi couch. Just got off the phone with my mom. My brother is in jail yet again. For burglury and petty theft along with possession of drug paraphenila. He was doing sp good for 6 months or so (after he was out of the rehab facility). Now this. Why must my family be so mentally screwed up? I wish I had a different family. I wish I didn't have the mental issues I have. I wish I was someone else...I don't know who, but I just don't like being me.
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  #714  
Old May 28, 2017, 09:58 PM
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velcro003 velcro003 is offline
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I apologize for the excessive multi-quoting. You guys were busy today!

Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
I usually try to find the person who likes to act the most maternal or sensitive and caring and shove them at the emotional person And let them handle it
haha. That is an excellent strategy, SD.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
I often just ask which they want. While scanning the horizon for the caring person to shove at them
Haha. On a roll with the funnies today.
Quote:
Originally Posted by junkDNA View Post
This book is from 1984

Couch 141: The Inversional Hexachordal Combinatorial Couch
Any reason you are reading this book from 1984? (generally curious)
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
Yes - showering is not optional. There is caring about showers. Definitely.
Besides sleeping as much as I want, not showering is one of my favorite things about weekends. If I didn't see T tomorrow, I'd be stoked I wouldn't have to shower for 3 days. If I have actual plans with people I know in real life, I do shower. It is just rare.
Quote:
Originally Posted by junkDNA View Post
"as i was left to be awake all night and well into the morning now I was thinking a lot about psychology. i came to the conclusion that the field is a pseudo-science and by that i mean that nothing is based on fact. it is all theoretical. and it can never be based on fact because it isn't capable of it. you cannot prove pain and suffering, you can only express it. and in the same vein, one can only interpret and trust these expressions as a listener or therapist or psychiatrist or what-have-you. pain and suffering are mental in they way that they are manifested and controlled by the brain and body. biology; a true science. but it enters the pseudo realm when expressed and then subsequently attributed meaning to by an outsider. yes you can sympathize, empathize, and understand someones discomfort. but you cannot experience it for yourself. reality is subjective because it is all based on perception. my reality is not your reality at this moment in time. my pain is not your pain even if we both went through the same traumatizing ordeal. even if we are identical twins. Siamese twins!!! we each have our own brains to rely on and sometimes these organs malfunction and misfire which causes pain and suffering. but it cannot ever be a fact. it will never be proven.

this isn't to say that i don't believe in psychology or it's benefits to heal pain and suffering. i can see how the process is scientific because of the way one diagnosis, interprets, attributes meaning to symptoms, and then applies it to a scientific model. all i am trying to see and believe by this is that i do not want to be a label. i do not want to be post-traumatic stress disorder. psychotic. majorly depressed. addicted. eating disordered. these are not my names and i will not respond to them if called out to me. they are also not excuses for my choices and behavior, no matter how aberrant or abnormal they may get. i cannot label myself psychologically impaired because if i do i am then succumbing to a self-fulfilling prophecy. one that casts me out of the social system and into the stigmatized and marginalized sidelines. a system that cannot sympathize, empathize, or understand. a system of which i fear terribly. although i am not ashamed of who i am and what i have been through and although i am, at most times, an open-book, if you will; i fear the repercussions that accompany such pseudo-scientific diagnoses; repercussions that come from external sources (i.e. society) and internal sources (i.e. self). i will not be deemed disabled and i will not give in to being impaired. i will thrive in my pain and suffering. i will express it as much as possible to any length because i know that good can come of it and that i may eventually heal it."

9/12/2012
Dang girl, you were quite insightful in 2012!
Quote:
Originally Posted by junkDNA View Post
"i have to be up in 6.5 hours. i have to be coherent in 6.5 hours. i have to gain control of my thoughts in 6.5 hours.

i took the luvox at 9pm. i am being held hostage by my mind. i cannot get comfortable.i rotate counter-clockwise through all my usual sleeping positions. all the while my mind is spinning and weaving a story for me. a story i don't understand. a story that doesn't make much sense. a story that is not being told by me. sometimes it's like a game that my mind is playing on me. word association. a word comes up, then another somewhat related, then another, and another, and another. endless.

what am i going to do with myself right now? how can this be solved? does anyone truly understand this torment? not just the insomnia but the also the obsessive and intrusive thoughts? the need to recount my activities i did today in order with as much detail as possible? remember and recite every conversation i had? when i mess up and remember something afterward i have to go back. i have to start all over. but then again even when i am done, when i have totally accounted for everything that occurred during my waking hours, i do it all over again. i'm not done. my mind is not done with me. as i reluctantly feel my mind starting to retrace my steps once more i hear my own thought, a thought that i have, that i control, that is me, "what the **** am i doing?"

an eternity is a night of no sleep when all you want is to not be awake anymore. "
Is this from the past, or is this happening now? I hope you are okay.
Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
Why arent you a doctor? Well, i know why - you got waylaid, pushed off your path, kept from fulfilling your true potential. But you are one smart person. Its not too late, youre only 30.
I bow down to Una right now
Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
If you ever retire from lawyering, maybe you should become a professional matchmaker.

As for thunderstorms, I adore them. They make me feel alive. It must be all the electricity in the air. So I will enjoy storms on behalf of anyone who doesn't want to.
haha. (picturing SD as a matchmaker)

I also love storms (not so much the loud booming..but that rarely happens where I live)

Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
I think some of those people still believe in the Wandering Womb theory
Never heard of this one!
Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post

Ooh, and you could combine matchmaking and therapy - offer marriage counseling to the matches that don't work out!
Yes!
Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
I have never taken "therapy is not a science" to mean therapy has no value.

I do often think the "therapy is an art, not a science" line is used as an excuse for mistakes by the therapist. I have heard it used so.
I don't necessarily think therapy is an art and not a science, but I do think it straddles the line. There definitely needs to be as much scientific evidence as possible, but it is very different because every humans' experiences are so different.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh View Post
Watching The Keepers. Holy ^%$#.
Okay. This is like the 3rd different thing today I've read on the Keepers. I don't think I made it through the first episode. Is it really that much of a mindeff?
Quote:
Originally Posted by healed84 View Post

Then I wondered: are there people out there who are truly, genuinely happy with their lives?
I think about this often. I think "Maybe what I am experiencing as life is just how everyone feels, and I just am being whiny about being any adult?" It is so hard for me to know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by healed84 View Post


Or maybe I should ask: anybody here pretty happy/satisfied/contend with their life? Even taking into considerations lives ups and downs?
More specifically, yeah, this is what I wonder? I know no one's lives are 'perfect' but are people content with what they have (even though they may strive for future goals and such)?
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderRugSwept View Post
I can't wait 'til Season 5 of House of Cards. Not even two more days! (Yes, I had to use an exclamation point there.) So excited.
Hmmm...I never finished season 4.
Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
I woke up sad for like 3 days. No one or no event has ever affected me like that.
SAME HERE. I was 16, and the same age as Prince William. I am not a crier, and most certainly not at celebrity deaths, but I was so overcome with the image of William and Harry following the casket, and then Elton John's version of Candle in the Wind, that I left the living room to go up in my room and cry. I still have the newspaper article about it from my hometown, for some reason.
Quote:
Originally Posted by artemis-within View Post
I finished the move a couple minutes ago and now he is in the other room laughing and talking like nothing ever happened. Maybe he just wanted me to do the computer work. I don't know what I am supposed to do. I just don't. I hate it so much because I feel helpless there is nothing I can do to make him feel better since it is all in his head.
Your H befuddles me, honestly.

If that was me, and my H ran out because he was feeling sick (and didn't give me instructions on how to finish his picks), I doubt I would even touch the computer. But also, I can be quite an un-emotional beehotch sometimes
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unaluna
  #715  
Old May 28, 2017, 09:59 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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I don't think there's only two choices when dealing with other people - it's not only either he's a creep or you need to be sympathetic. I think there can be a more middle ground where you simply separate yourself from the other's problems. It doesn't matter what he's doing - it matters what one's response is to what he is doing - that's the part one can control.
__________________
Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Thanks for this!
atisketatasket, kecanoe, unaluna, UnderRugSwept
  #716  
Old May 28, 2017, 10:00 PM
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unaluna unaluna is offline
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I'm sorry, squirrel.
  #717  
Old May 28, 2017, 10:03 PM
Anonymous54879
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
Not until you take a shower
I personally enjoy showering daily. Even if I'm not leaving my house. A daily shower and clean clothes is a must for me. You won't need to hose me down before entering the pearly gates. I'll be clean.
Thanks for this!
SoConfused623, stopdog, UnderRugSwept
  #718  
Old May 28, 2017, 10:05 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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Apparently I am going to be in hell acting as a therapist matchmaker -heaven is on its own with the unwashed masses.
__________________
Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Thanks for this!
atisketatasket, awkwardlyyours, UnderRugSwept
  #719  
Old May 28, 2017, 10:07 PM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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Art - if I'm butting in, tell me to go live with una while she's in a non-shower period.

Last week you had that realization with your t, and you've said a couple times on here you're trying to support your husband more and also be a Parent (like with the weed baggie).

I'm not sure I even agree with the basic premise "art needs to change," but, even if you believe you do, it seems like you're trying to do it all at once? To be perfect at it? That's enormous pressure. It would make me angry. Could you maybe ease up on yourself? And if your husband knows about this, not only do I think that he needs to do some changing too - no way is it all on you - but he needs to consider marriage counseling.

Or at the very least a session with a therapist matchmaker.
Thanks for this!
UnderRugSwept
  #720  
Old May 28, 2017, 10:09 PM
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velcro003 velcro003 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
I don't think there's only two choices when dealing with other people - it's not only either he's a creep or you need to be sympathetic. I think there can be a more middle ground where you simply separate yourself from the other's problems. It doesn't matter what he's doing - it matters what one's response is to what he is doing - that's the part one can control.
I don't either. I just was giving my opinion on how I'd deal with that.
  #721  
Old May 28, 2017, 10:09 PM
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lucozader lucozader is offline
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I don't think there are only two choices when dealing with other people, either. That would be a difficult way to live.

My real point, as a sufferer of serious health anxiety myself, is that a person whose illness is "all in their head" still deserves to be treated with kindness rather than dismissal. Their suffering is completely real to them.

(...and you can't prove that it's all in their head, anyway. Many mysterious and difficult to diagnose illnesses exist. I should know )
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LonesomeTonight
  #722  
Old May 28, 2017, 10:10 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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If that was me, and my H ran out because he was feeling sick (and didn't give me instructions on how to finish his picks), I doubt I would even touch the computer. But also, I can be quite an un-emotional beehotch sometimes [/QUOTE]

I too am more unemotional. I mean I might eventually go check on him but I doubt I would've tried to take care of his other stuff.
__________________
Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
  #723  
Old May 28, 2017, 10:11 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by velcro003 View Post
I don't either. I just was giving my opinion on how I'd deal with that.
I know -I thought you and I were in agreement
__________________
Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
  #724  
Old May 28, 2017, 10:20 PM
Anonymous43207
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lucozader View Post
Basically, Art, if he's making s**t up because he's too lazy to do stuff that is really terrible, manipulative behaviour. (Also extremely childish... Like, four year old level?)

If he's really suffering, whether it's 'all in his head' or not, then he deserves your sympathy and your help, even if it's hard sometimes. He does need to do his best to help himself, though, and if doctors can't do anything for him, perhaps he needs anxiety meds or therapy?

I guess only you can surmise which of those things it is.
I apologize if I mis-spoke and offended you. It was not intended. I have been living with this with my h for going on 20 years and he refuses anxiety meds or depression meds when the dr suggests, he refuses therapy, he over and over and over refuses to go to marriage counseling. it's a recurring pattern ad nauseum. i have been very patient with him but my patience is wearing thin because he refuses help. except to go to the dr to be told every time there's nothing wrong with him. he watches medical shows and convinces himself he has whatever rare disease they are talking about that day. I want to be able to help him, but nothing I do ever helps, everhthing I say is wrong, everything i try to do is wrong, every time it happens i get closer to the end of my rope.

I'm sorry everyone. It's just been a very long time dealing with this. I don't mean to make anyoen feel bad who deasl with health anxiety. I am going to take a break from PC for awhile. Maybe i should follow the others who deleted their accounts.
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  #725  
Old May 28, 2017, 10:24 PM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artemis-within View Post
I apologize if I mis-spoke and offended you. It was not intended. I have been living with this with my h for going on 20 years and he refuses anxiety meds or depression meds when the dr suggests, he refuses therapy, he over and over and over refuses to go to marriage counseling. it's a recurring pattern ad nauseum. i have been very patient with him but my patience is wearing thin because he refuses help. except to go to the dr to be told every time there's nothing wrong with him. he watches medical shows and convinces himself he has whatever rare disease they are talking about that day. I want to be able to help him, but nothing I do ever helps, everhthing I say is wrong, everything i try to do is wrong, every time it happens i get closer to the end of my rope.

I'm sorry everyone. It's just been a very long time dealing with this. I don't mean to make anyoen feel bad who deasl with health anxiety. I am going to take a break from PC for awhile. Maybe i should follow the others who deleted their accounts.
Art - I didn't go through the health anxiety with future ex as long as you did - just a few years. But, pm me if you like. It is extremely frustrating to live with, especially when you can see the idea "maybe that's what's wrong with me" forming in their eyes.

It didn't help I went to every appointment with him, rearranged my schedule constantly...and then when I got sick and needed hospitalization and surgery he was nowhere to be found.

(Not criticizing those with hypochondria. It did not look fun.)
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