Are people in your life extremely unsupportive during your hard times?

Yes, but more out of ignorance. There is no malice behind it. People without MI simply don't understand that there is no magic switch in my head that I can just turn off and on at their whim.

I have episodes that might be age regression. A few times I've been told that I was speaking like a child but I have no memory of it.
Another example is recently while hiking along a large river, I was having difficulty keeping my balance stepping rock to rock and started worrying (obsessing?) I'd fall into the swiftly moving water. After a couple of miles, I did fall but I was able to shift my weight and went backward into the embankment. That's when things got weird. I hunkered down, put my arms over my head and told my husband in this weird gravelly voice, GET ME OUT OF HERE! GET ME THE EFF OUT OF HERE NOW! I was trying to be quiet because there were families all around us. He got me back on the trail and by the time we got back to our truck I was better. We now call that a "Damien Moment".

It’s never a bad thing to behave in a childlike manner, as long as you’re not rude or disruptive. People would actually come to treat you like a small child, a cute, endearing little kid. When you been through so much hell, that’s exactly what you’ll need.

I feel like I finally have some hope based on my current GM saying she’s sure he’ll talk to me the next time he’s here. That makes me happy for the first time in 6 weeks. At the same time I’m questioning, based on what? Then again, she’s the new GM so maybe she knows something I don’t,

What can I do next time he’s here to increase the chance he’ll talk to me in more than a cold and distant way? I reallY would like outgoing and friendly from him.

Ruby, people,. especially at work, expect you to act your age and not in a childlike, regressed and immature manner. You have yet to understand that your behavior is obsessive and destructive to your working relationships. You are obsessed over this GM talking to you in a friendlier manner. What does it really matter? He's left the site and he owes you nothing. You worked together for a while. You keep obsessing over specific superiors in your job, it's not healthy or productive behavior. People at work treat you the way they do because you're very inappropriate and have been described as creepy. You have yet to understand and acknowledge that it's your behavior that must change - not other people's reactions to you. People would treat you with far greater respect if you respected people's boundaries and maintained professionalism. You have yet to learn this.

Acting childlike in the workplace is not only immature but it is inappropriate no matter what reason you want to attribute to it.

Bottom line, if you don't have any coping skills other than that then I truly question your mental or emotional capacity to even hold down a job where you are dealing with the public. Nothing you have described in your posts would make a "NORMAL" person behave the way you do not would it be traumatic to normal people. That suggests to my thinking that the jobs you are trying to function is are not really appropriate for your mental or emotional condition. Maybe you can learn to adapt with professional help but I would suggest the professional help FIRST.

Some of you mentioned that while that GM still worked here and I told him I’ll miss him during his vacation, he replied he’s not gonna think about me once. Specifically me..

Letting y’all know there were 2 other instance that he ignored me while he was still here. Each time lasted a whole, tortuous week. Could these times also be because he felt uncomfortable around me? And that I obsessed?

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Originally Posted by ruby2011 Some of you mentioned that while that GM still worked here and I told him I’ll miss him during his vacation, he replied he’s not gonna think about me once. Specifically me.. Letting y’all know there were 2 other instance that he ignored me while he was still here. Each time lasted a whole, tortuous week. Could these times also be because he felt uncomfortable around me? And that I obsessed?

Short and to the point yes.

He regularly gives a few of my coworkers vegetable seeds and young tomato plants while he was here. After he left, he messages with shift manager every other week. Not work related but just to say hi. Cuz they relayed that to me so I know. Hence the coworker who he message with about blood sugar.

I’m quite jealous.

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Originally Posted by ruby2011 He regularly gives a few of my coworkers vegetable seeds and young tomato plants while he was here. After he left, he messages with shift manager every other week. Not work related but just to say hi. Cuz they relayed that to me so I know. Hence the coworker who he message with about blood sugar. I’m quite jealous.

He doesn't have anything in common with you....why should you be jealous? You are obsessed by him & want his friendship & he doesn't see anything between you co create a connection. Emotionally & mentally healthy people let it go & realize there is nothing in common to base a friendship or even a friendly acquaintance on. You just can't let go & like I said before, people don't like it when other people want to leach onto them & that behavior makes people build more firm boundaries & basically keep the person away from them so they don't have to bother with the emotional immaturity in their life. Dealing with people who have behaviors like yours is EXHAUSTING & most people don't want to waste their energy dealing with the issues people with behaviors like yours create between people. You keep doing similar behaviors & wonder why the results with people are always the same. Your inappropriate behavior IS the common denominator & if YOU DON'T CHANGE the results will NEVER change.

I wish this forum had the reaction buttons Facebook have, so I could “sad” the post above mine. But I gave it a thumbs up and that’s accurate too.

Although my current 25 year old GM told me she’s sure he’ll talk to me next time he (40) comes in, part of me is worried that he won’t. Then to put salt on my wound, my folks whose basement I’ll forever reside in, said he could possibly stop borrowing from my store just to avoid me. Well it has been a few weeks since I saw him come in. So it stabbed me deep my heart.

I moved out of their house for 6 months while working at Arby’s. I got hurt by Arby’s. I’m really thinking of moving out again. What group home or assisted living options are there for my age? Better yet, what adult foster home? Cuz I just heard adult foster home is a thing

Living options depends on how things run in your state and your disability/health/ability. I sent you some links to disability services in your state. Start by talking to your GP and psychiatrist and see if they can help you sign up for a waitlist for adult group home but honestly those are hard to come by and they are often very much sub par.

Are you on disability? If not, group homes or subsidized living might be out of reach.

Bottom line start by talking to a GP and pdoc

Group home are like orphanages. Looking into adult foster homes. Just want a good set of foster parents who’ll reparent me from scratch,

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Originally Posted by ruby2011 I wish this forum had the reaction buttons Facebook have, so I could “sad” the post above mine. But I gave it a thumbs up and that’s accurate too. Although my current 25 year old GM told me she’s sure he’ll talk to me next time he (40) comes in, part of me is worried that he won’t. Then to put salt on my wound, my folks whose basement I’ll forever reside in, said he could possibly stop borrowing from my store just to avoid me. Well it has been a few weeks since I saw him come in. So it stabbed me deep my heart. I moved out of their house for 6 months while working at Arby’s. I got hurt by Arby’s. I’m really thinking of moving out again. What group home or assisted living options are there for my age? Better yet, what adult foster home? Cuz I just heard adult foster home is a thing

What would a group home or assisted living or even an adult foster home gain you? You didn't like what your parents said to you even if it is TRUE? Do you think a group home or any other different living situation would be different? You are always looking for everything around you to change without wanting to do WORK to make the the appropriate changes within YOURSELF. Nothing will get better without the behaviors within yourself & your way of interfacing with people CHANGING

I want to move out for the same reason other people want to move out, in order to be independent. And I lived completely independently for 6 months. In cases where u r incapable of independent living, people still want to move out to feel like normal. I guess that’s either evolutionary or innate human nature.

I just really hope that the GM isn’t so hell bent on avoiding me that he stops coming to the store. That would be a very harsh rejection.

McDonald’s isn’t exempt from nationwide labor shortage. We’ve started hiring 15 year olds for the first time since 2004 (the year I was 15). Just wondering…

If I were 15 right now instead of 32 and he hired me to work at his location, would I have been appreciated for thinking he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread? I currently work with 17 year old cara. When cara was 16, she told a department manager, “I think you’re my favorite.”

Manager: that’s so sweet.

And they continued talking. Cuz u know there’s not a mean bone in her body, just like there’s no mean bone in mine. (Well that’s starting to change cuz of what I went through. I’m not rude per se but people are starting to walk on eggshells around me).

The last time that GM stopped by to borrow stuff, guess who he greeted so ******* warmly in the parking lot. Cara! It was a quick 1 second Hi good to see you! But at least it wasn’t cold like he treated me when he came inside.

We be passing by each other. Neither of us were leaving given he hadn’t yet got the stuff he need. And I had my headset on in the back and was half an hour away from getting off. He took a quick glance at me and said, “have a good day, S. One quick COLD second.

The next day, I experimented on my coworker. Both he and I arrived at 6 AM. I told him, “have a good day, T.

Him: are you leaving?
Me: no
Him: then what do you mean have a nice day
Me: (annoyed) have. A. Nice. Day. Four simple basic words in every English speakers vocabulary. Including yours, right?

😭😭😭 his middle spawn is 15. His 3 spawns are a year apart from each other in age. The older 2 spawns are working (don’t know where but half the places in town hire 15 year olds now). If one of them got hurt like I had he wouldn’t tolerate it like my parents do. Hell my parents insisted I brought it onto myself. But I don’t worry about them getting hurt like I have. Cuz whoever they idolize are likely to appreciate it. They have the same good luck as kaitlyn from Arby’s. And Julie who also idolized the Arby’s supervisor when back she was at Wendy’s. (That old bag worked at Wendy’s for 25 years before Arby’s).

Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure if I were raped, they would tell me to stop acting like a hoe. Cuz Asian blame the victim culture seem worse than the American ones that brought on the #metoo movement.

I hope if I were currently 15 and working for him at his new store, I might have better luck. Or maybe not. The supervisor from Arby’s, her 2 boys are significantly older than me. Hell her older spawn is 14 months older than my former McDonald’s GM (making them 41 and 40 respectively).

I’m just afraid if I force myself not to care about anyone, I would end up not being human. Without the capacity for human feelings, empathy, caring relationships.

Scene from TV series ER:

A seasoned ER physician advocated for a young minority medical school applicant to be given a chance at med school. He was competing with white applicants who had equally good credentials, at best. He got in but decided not to go.

ER doctor was taken aback by his choice, so young person explained he couldn’t deal with all the sickness, pain, and suffering.

Doctor: you’ll get used to it,
Young person: that’s what I’m afraid of

I watched this episode in high school and I instinctively knew he was afraid of losing his humanity. And so am I. I always been. I don’t want to be reduced to a machine, or psychopath, or Harry Potter dementors. Why can’t people understand?

If you are afraid of losing your humanity you need to look at how you refer to people's children. You say you care and look up to this GM, but you're calling his children "spawn". Spawn is not a nice term. It has a decidedly negative connotation.

When you say your parents tolerate you having been hurt, is the hurt you are referring to your inappropriate stalking behavior? Because you did bring that upon yourself, and the intention of the other party in that was not to harm you but protect themselves.

Frankly, Ruby, this diatribe is very concerning and makes me worry for the other parties and their safety from you. You need to put this GM out of your head entirely and focus on your behavior at work, or I am quite concerned you will be fired for stalking him and that your behavior will escalate to the point you are either served with a restraining order or arrested for harassment or both. This line of thinking that you are entitled to hold space in head or entitled to a relationship with him is the kind of thinking that puts people in jail for stalking.

You do not have a relationship with him. Nothing you do will create a relationship with him. There is nothing you can do to make him care about you. You cannot force someone to care about you through behavior. It doesn't work that way. The fact that you talk about his kids the way you do shows that you don't actually care about him, because if you truly cared about him you'd talk about his family with respect. Instead it's clear this is an infatuation you have, and it seems like your desire is to have his attention for yourself, which is what stalkers want.

I urge you to stop entertaining thoughts about this person. When they come up, redirect your thoughts to something else. I'm not trying to be mean or cruel to you. I know you don't understand the social nuances, why he gives attention to some people and not to you, or healthy social interactions. I know social interactions, including those at work, are challenging for you because you cannot discern the nuances. And that's what makes this dangerous for you. If your supervisor or this GM heard what you just wrote, you'd be fired and a restraining order taken out. I am saying this to get you to understand the road you are headed on. The road to being in an incarcerated group home like prison, not one for people with ASD or whatever.

I do not want you to end up in the justice system, but I am very fearful for you. Please let this infatuation go, focus on your goals of being independent and financially independent, and behave at work (per the advice you've been given on boundaries to keep/ways to behave).

I didn’t know spawn is a negative term. I’m just afraid of using any other term cuz I’ll cry. Cuz he cares about everyone else but me. Look how he treats my coworkers! A million times nicer and friendlier than he treats me. It really isn’t fair to me but my parents act like I deserve every bit of it.

So he doesn’t care about me and neither does the supervisor at Arby’s. And at least 5 other people. For the same ******* reason.

Please tell me if I were currently 15 and he hired me at his store, would he have appreciated that I find him the greatest thing since sliced bread? Or would my luck be just as bad looking up to someone?

I really miss how he used to treat me. When he used to me nice to me and treat me like everyone else and not push me away.

Did you read anything else I wrote? It doesn't matter why he cares about other people and not you. But the likely reason is because you are behaving like a stalker. You're imagining a relationship where there is none and trying to force that imaginary relationship on him.. You need to redirect yourself to something else before you escalate again, and it's worse this time.

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I read everything. That GM hadn’t read anything I wrote anywhere, but the DM talked to him on my behalf. I didn’t ask her to, she offered and I said yes, AFTER confirming if it would have any bearing on my position. She said it won’t

What results do I get?

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So he doesn’t care about me and neither does the supervisor at Arby’s. And at least 5 other people. For the same ******* reason.

That REASON is YOUR behavior but you keep insisting on forcing it on people & they don't like it. Don't blame them for something YOU BRING ON YOURSELF.

You may not like your parents telling you the truth about you bringing on your problems yourself but anyone with any common sense about your behaviors would tell you the same thing.

If it is your disability causing this then you don't belong in a workplace situation till you can take care of how you relate to other people. You keep causing your own problems & REFUSE to take any responsibility for what you are doing. It is no wonder why people around you are avoiding you. Your behavior drives people away from you & until you get that & work with professionals to handle what is causing your mental instability your whole life will continue to be a miserable mess because you seem to feel entitled to behave in ways normal people don't want to be around.

I’m trying really hard to make progress and desensitize myself to that GM being nicer and kinder to everyone else. I asked M to show me the messages between himself and the GM. I saw so many low carb recipes and what they each ate each night and a bit of small talk here and there.

I made Herculean effort to hold it together and I did! Even though intense sadness and jealousy overcame me. I told M that I didn’t cry and held it together.

He said he didn’t expect me to fall apart in the first place and that’s normal. It only got me a little dejected but in the end, I made progress

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Originally Posted by ruby2011 I’m trying really hard to make progress and desensitize myself to that GM being nicer and kinder to everyone else. I asked M to show me the messages between himself and the GM. I saw so many low carb recipes and what they each ate each night and a bit of small talk here and there. I made Herculean effort to hold it together and I did! Even though intense sadness and jealousy overcame me. I told M that I didn’t cry and held it together. He said he didn’t expect me to fall apart in the first place and that’s normal. It only got me a little dejected but in the end, I made progress

What you have been writing in just your previous posts does not match what you are saying in this post. That does indicate mental issues you need professional help with. Good to read what you wrote in this post because it does indicate more rational thinking than what has been coming out of you lately. Just keep working on changing one step at a time. He is correct...."falling apart" would NOT be normal.

He just didn’t acknowledge that I made great effort not to fall apart. And I didn’t get the praise I was looking for when I accomplished not falling apart. I made progress and that alone is commendable

If M couldn’t encourage me, then who could?

I dont know who M is, but asking to see text messages between M and the GM is part of the stalking behavior. The GM's behavior or relationship with others is none of your business.

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I asked my coworker M to see the messages between him and the GM to desensitize myself. That’s an actual exposure therapy. I also let M know the reason I need to see the messages and that’s why he let me,

If GM is nice to people at work (except me, of course) then is he nice to people in his life outside work? There must be SOMEBODY else he’s pushing away as much as he pushed me away. I don’t want to feel alone