Bipolar Check-in #88 (again!)

Slept well but had the a really weird dream. It brought up some bad memories. Dreams really affect me even after waking for along while. Anyway, I'm up early today I guess. Go into work at 12, but have telehealth therapy at 11. I live 5 minutes from work, so it'll be fine . If nothing else I'll just drive to work and have it in my car.

Trying to get back into eating healthier, exercise, finding a hobby, ensuring to take medicine, and better myself. With the warmer weather -- it's easier to do.

I’m glad the phone games help! Games can be a great distraction I have so many of them on my phone and tablet , they’re good at taking my mind off anxiety or other things

Good morning! I slept well, 8 1/2 hours. Today’s gonna be busy. Got the Easter brunch at 10am to 12pm then my volunteer shift with the kitties tonight from 6pm to 8pm.

Anyway, I’m just up drinking some decaf coffee and listening to music. Gonna switch over to my audiobook soon. Listening to a biography of Beethoven.

Will probably squeeze in some violin and piano practice in between the brunch and volunteering tonight.

Hoping the dissociation doesn’t kick in today. This is not the day for it.

I hope I get home before 8:30pm tonight. It just depends how many cats there are to take care of and when I’m able to get a bus home. Cause I need to go to sleep somewhat early tonight since I need to be up tomorrow before 7am.

I have had the most exhaustion lately. im just tired. idk if its bc i go nonstop and it caching up to me or what but i just wanna sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel pretty good today. My anxiety is low and I slept well. My stomach pain is fine too. I need to buy smoothie bowls and acai bowls but thats about it for today.

My withdrawels are pretty much gone now with going down on the Prestiq. I've only taken one valium and a visteril today.

I had green beans, lentil chips, and a protein shake for breakfast. Eating better might also be why I'm feeling good.

They pushed the time of the brunch from 10am till 11:30am because they weren’t ready for us at 10 yet. A little annoyed. I’m really looking forward to eating the breakfast foods there. Got about an hour more to go till they start. I hate when people suddenly change times of things cause it throws my plans/my day off. Anyway just gonna pass the time till it’s ready.

My routine is out of order this morning too and I don't like it. I started using my SAD lamp and reading and then H is having an online work meeting (where I can hear all of his part of the conversation, which is a lot as it appears to be a 2 person meeting). I hope it ends soon. Normally I'm drawing at this time, but my SAD lamp is all set up on the table where I draw, and anyway, I'd still hear H's meeting while drawing. Trying to just breathe, calm down, not be anxious. I don't know if it's OCD or what but when my routines get broken I hate it.

I did fold a load of laundry, and I think I'm going to order the curbside essential groceries for next week (the things I buy weekly) even though I don't think I will pick it up until Monday. Usually I do a Sunday grocery pickup but the store will be closed for Easter.

Just finished at the brunch , food was good. I had pancakes, French toast sticks, eggs, turkey bacon, and sausage and hashbrowns. And I have a coffee I brought upstairs so I’m gonna enjoy that now. They ended up not starting till around 12:30pm

@Blue_Bird That brunch sounds AWESOME! It sounds like you live in a wonderful apartment complex!

I started to have bad anxiety close to a panic attack and finally took 25 mg Seroquel. I'll take the other 25 mg after lunch. Drawing was rough at first, but drawing a warbler, I started to calm down (maybe the Seroquel kicked in too), but also I like drawing birds a lot. Something to the familiarity of it; how they are all alike in some ways and different in other ways, sometimes even just subtly. I drew a gumball machine too (both in creative corner).

Yea it’s a great apartment/program. They also hid 60 something Easter eggs inside and outside of the building for people to egg hunt and had prizes for the winners

They do a lot for us. And it’s the people who work here that do everything too like even one of the security guards who’s worked here many years was helping cook too and the landlord and a couple tenants. At the end of this month there’s a nutrition class. They do those at the end of every month. And they have coffee days, crafts/art days, movie nights, board game days, bingo with prizes, they always do a huge basically feast they make for every holiday. All home cooked stuff. Including the big holidays but also the smaller ones like 4th of July, Easter, etc. we also have potlucks throughout the year. Awhile back they had yoga classes. I’m glad I live here. It’s made a big difference in my mental health the past 5 1/2 years I’ve lived here.

Your drawing looks great! Good job with the shading

About to head to my volunteer shift soon.

Back to 4 hours of sleep

I'm so tired!

Was supposed to have my first shift today, but given being in the ER and the reasons behind it (and people thinking I should go back), not being home, using so much energy on the apartment and not being there(and now I’m stuck in cleaning and decluttering mode and have barely let myself rest all day today either), and having my meds just adjusted, I had to call and tell them I had to start next week. I just hope I get my shyt together by then.

I'm so over sinus stuff. Mostly I'm better, but yesterday I didn't take any Mucinex D and today my head is stuffed up, it's gotten to my ears, is a bit in my chest but ironically my nose is not congested. I do have the sinus pressure behind my eyes. I finally took a Mucinex. I hope it helps. Apparently, I sound congested though; at least that's what my mom told me when I called her. I told her we won't be coming to the Easter celebration because my middle sister and nephew will hardly be there, my oldest nephew isn't coming, and my youngest sister & her family are leaving early too. I saw my youngest sister this past Tuesday along with my nieces anyway. The main thing though is that if this is something contagious, I don't want to get my grandmother sick. I would never forgive myself.

Did my drawings today. I forgot yesterday. My pear turned out well but my Lilly of the valley, so-so. Yesterday I did so much I completely forgot until it was time to go to bed.

Today was a lazy day. I’m trying to drink lots of water as my giving blood is tomorrow. But I’m not thirsty.

Blueberry have you tried a hot compress? I recently bought an eye compress for dry eyes but I notice that when I use it it also drains my sinuses. Just a wet washcloth nuked for 20 seconds should help. I have no problems with my sinuses and was very surprised at the extra benefit of the compress. I sit with my head tilted back a bit for about 10 minutes. Then when I sit up I can feel them draining.

Blue bird have fun with the kitties.

For everyone calorieless chocolate cookies

Hey hey it’s my birthday!

Got my 6 year old son singing happy birthday to me lol.

Going to an Easter Fair because everything is closed on Good Friday. It’s a bit like Christmas Day here in Australia. So the Fair should be fun. Lots of rides etc.

I know you’ll be a great volunteer Muddy when you’re ready for it

I just finished my shift, it went by quick cause I got there early and my assistant volunteer came today too so it went quick

Here’s some pics. And a few of the cats eating treats in a huddle lol

I hate when I’m crisis-y and feel I should call the emergency number but have no clue what I’d tell my team, and I’d only know what I’d be able to tell them and their assumptions and responses based on that that aren’t going to be helpful.
I don’t want to risk getting two certain people that get assigned the line either. That’s just gonna put me more in crisis.

Oh, that’s my fear second kitty is so pretty. What interesting colored eyes it has.

Happy Birthday @Crazy Hitch!

Happy birthday!!!

Happy birthday Crazy Hitch!

Happy Birthday Crazy Hitch!

I ended up calling. Waiting for a call back.

Ended up just being passed along to NH Rapid Response.