[IcryWhoAmI]

Hi, I'm looking for help or some advice, or just something.
I've felt quite depressed for a few years, I don't know if it is depression or something else, but that's how I've felt. I've been meaning to go to the doctors, but I'm too shy or scared too. I have no one to ask, or to help me.
I haven't any friends, and no, I can't tell my parents. They're just not those type of people. They're the ones who usually laugh and take the mick, rather than have sympathy or empathy.

I've been to many websites and forums and it's always the same thing[s].
First you get told to tell someone. - The reason that I can't is because I'm too shy, and no I can't get over it.

Then you get told to take it, 'One step at a time' - What is the first step, or the second, or last? How do you take the first step, or when to? If you don't know this, how will you get there. It's a silly thing to say really. It doesn't help or make anyone feel better. [Not me anyway]

Then it's to go out and meet someone or to do something different - How can I do this, if I'm too shy to even see a doctor? How am I to do something different when I'm too shy too. I'm also very lazy, I barely get up unless I need food, or the bathroom. I don't even know what doing 'something different' means. Shall I go to a strip club? Meet a random person then get murdered?
Usually it's 'find a local group or activity that you enjoy'. I've already said I'm too shy, secondly, I'm not a fan of people, and usually at 'local groups' they're all older people. I'm only 19. [20 on sat 5th]
Thirdly, I don't enjoy any activities, or don't know that I do. Yes, I like reading, but my literacy skills aren't great and I have a short memory, so book clubs are out of the questions. Yes, I like music [Rock], but I'm not going to go to a bar or concert by myself. Yes, I like movies, but I'm not going to go to the cinema by myself. etc.

There aren't a lot of psychiatrists near me, so please don't tell me to find one. Even when there are, they're expensive and I haven't the money for them.

Even when there are people who genuinely try to help, I don't take it. I don't know why this is, It's not that I don't want the help, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered with all that typing, I just can't take it for some reason. Usually it's because they said something silly after which I've already said I couldn't do. But most of the time, I just read the response, and I'm just like 'No.'

I just feel like no one really understands me, like REALLY. I know it's hard to, but if you read what I type right, maybe it will make more sense. [Even though that doesn't].
I feel like I live in a bubble kind of, or like I'm an alien or a child again. It's like nothing in the world makes sense to me. I have to question everything and everyone. Why we do this, why that, why we act like this, etc.. It may be normal to question things, but I will spend a good half hour pondering about it to myself.

I know I'm blabbing, and thanks if your still here. I just needed to get stuff out. ["Well, this is the place to be"]. I know.
I don't know if this is a question or not, or if it's just mumblings of a lonely person, so don't feel obliged to respond or anything.

And well, think that's all for now.

I feel like I've forgotten something.

[RunningEagleRuns]

Originally Posted by IcryWhoAmI

Hi, I'm looking for help or some advice, or just something.
I've felt quite depressed for a few years, I don't know if it is depression or something else, but that's how I've felt. I've been meaning to go to the doctors, but I'm too shy or scared too. I have no one to ask, or to help me.
I haven't any friends, and no, I can't tell my parents. They're just not those type of people. They're the ones who usually laugh and take the mick, rather than have sympathy or empathy.

I've been to many websites and forums and it's always the same thing[s].
First you get told to tell someone. - The reason that I can't is because I'm too shy, and no I can't get over it.

Then you get told to take it, 'One step at a time' - What is the first step, or the second, or last? How do you take the first step, or when to? If you don't know this, how will you get there. It's a silly thing to say really. It doesn't help or make anyone feel better. [Not me anyway]

Then it's to go out and meet someone or to do something different - How can I do this, if I'm too shy to even see a doctor? How am I to do something different when I'm too shy too. I'm also very lazy, I barely get up unless I need food, or the bathroom. I don't even know what doing 'something different' means. Shall I go to a strip club? Meet a random person then get murdered?
Usually it's 'find a local group or activity that you enjoy'. I've already said I'm too shy, secondly, I'm not a fan of people, and usually at 'local groups' they're all older people. I'm only 19. [20 on sat 5th]
Thirdly, I don't enjoy any activities, or don't know that I do. Yes, I like reading, but my literacy skills aren't great and I have a short memory, so book clubs are out of the questions. Yes, I like music [Rock], but I'm not going to go to a bar or concert by myself. Yes, I like movies, but I'm not going to go to the cinema by myself. etc.

There aren't a lot of psychiatrists near me, so please don't tell me to find one. Even when there are, they're expensive and I haven't the money for them.

Even when there are people who genuinely try to help, I don't take it. I don't know why this is, It's not that I don't want the help, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered with all that typing, I just can't take it for some reason. Usually it's because they said something silly after which I've already said I couldn't do. But most of the time, I just read the response, and I'm just like 'No.'

I just feel like no one really understands me, like REALLY. I know it's hard to, but if you read what I type right, maybe it will make more sense. [Even though that doesn't].
I feel like I live in a bubble kind of, or like I'm an alien or a child again. It's like nothing in the world makes sense to me. I have to question everything and everyone. Why we do this, why that, why we act like this, etc.. It may be normal to question things, but I will spend a good half hour pondering about it to myself.

I know I'm blabbing, and thanks if your still here. I just needed to get stuff out. ["Well, this is the place to be"]. I know.
I don't know if this is a question or not, or if it's just mumblings of a lonely person, so don't feel obliged to respond or anything.

And well, think that's all for now.

I feel like I've forgotten something.

Well thanks for writing. I hope you feel better.

[TobysFreshStart]

I'm sure you were looking for much more than this broken record but telling someone impartial about all your feelings like a doctor or Councillor really will help you (not that telling someone else WON'T help, but for me I found I couldn't say anything if I felt I was at risk of judgement).

What I would suggest is when you identify aspects of your life that you want to actively change, write it down for now. Build up a document of everything that you feel has gone wrong for you, come back to it whenever you want, chances are when you read it back you will realize that you shouldn't feel shy about it and there are rational reasons to why you feel the way you do and rational ways of dealing with it rather than locking everyone out.

Trust me - the feeling that nobody understands you is familiar among so many of us and it can seem unsolvable if you are to let things get out of perspective but there are more people than you can fathom willing to at least try to understand and help you.

Best of luck and please keep us updated on how things progress.

[Sam2]

Hi. Yes, you came to the right place. As far as you're being lazy, I don't believe it. Depression sucks all the life and energy out of a person. No one would choose to lay in bed all day. When I was younger, probably a bit older than you are now, I went to our family physician because I was depressed. He told me he thought I was just making it up so that I didn't have to go to work. When professionals say things like that, its no surprise that people with depression feel like they are lazy.

When people tell you that you need to see someone, I think its because they want to help, but don't know how. There are a lot of emotional and psychiatric problems that are very similar in thier symptoms. Sometimes even shrinks have a hard time diagnosing a problem. Just a theory, I could be wrong.

Depression or any other problem that is similar cannot be "gotten over" just like that. If it could, then it wouldn't be a problem. Its unlikely that its just going to go away. You are stuck in the "buts" cycle. For every suggestion, there is a "but". Don't worry, that isn't an accusation. I do it all the time myself. Emotional pain is highly under-rated. We will sacrifice our health and sometimes our lives to protect the doors behind which live the reasons for the pain. Most people are aware of how psychotherapy works, or at least have an idea, from T.V. etc. We know that if we go, the therapist is going to want us to change something. As bad as we are feeling, we are used to that feeling. We know what to expect. Going to a therapist means risking more pain that we aren't used to and don't know what to expect. It also means opening one of those doors that we are trying so hard to protect to someone we don't even know. Once we tell the therapist, we can't take it back, nor do we know what they will do with the information.

I won't tell you to tell your parents. I never did. They were conservative, everything stayed in the family and you didn't talk about family problems outside the family. They found out when I tried to take my life. I have little memory of that day. Just peices. A cop circling the house, peering through the window. A large hand on my neck as I puked my guts into a trash can the was pushed under my face. A young male voice saying, "I hate this". My mother sliding down the wall in the ER cubicle, passing out as my heart rate hit 200 and kept climbing. I don't know if things would have been different if I had leveled with them, but I do know that they would not have had to find out that way.

Like you, I stay away from people. In a business setting, ok, but if its personal or social, forget it. I've lived with a good friend and her husband for fifteen years now. They opened their home to me at a time in my life when I wasn't sure I would even be around the next day. I know their kids, and they accept me as family. However, if more than one person is downstairs, I won't come out of my room. Fifteen years and the anxiety of being around people is so bad that even my adopted family scares me.

Why am I telling you this? Because I'm 49 now and help captive by my own depression and fear. Maybe some of your questions were answered. Maybe not. What I do know is that you are going to have to make a choice. Just realize that what you choose now will effect you for the rest of your life. I have no business telling you what to do, who to tell or where to go. That is something you will have to decide for yourself. If you decide you want to talk more, I'll be here and so will the others.

Sam2

[allimsaying]

> Even when there are people who genuinely try to help, I don't take it. I don't know why this is, It's not that I don't want the help, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered with all that typing, I just can't take it for some reason. Usually it's because they said something silly after which I've already said I couldn't do. But most of the time, I just read the response, and I'm just like 'No.'

I hope this doesnt seem insincere when I ask, Have you ever heard of 'treatment resistant'?

When I first heard the term it meant to me that the depression, this thing outside of me, hence, alien to me, was resistant to medical treatment. How shocking that was to me that some form of 'virus' could overtake my body and mind and resist to be treated, as though it were a cancer cell or some such and therefore alien to me and something over which I had no control. IT was treatment resistant.

Well, that is both comforting and not comforting. On the one hand, I can say that something else has control of me and that being true, I am not responsible for any of my own actions or sayings. On the other hand, I am at this things mercy. Which would I rather be?

People come and offer words and thoughts to us in hope that it may help. Its the giving in the thing that heals. No, we dont always know what to say, and we sometimes say what we shouldnt. But our heart is in it. Its really sad to care and give what you can and sometimes is not received as it was intended, but we keep on, knowing that someone had the right words, at the right time, when we ourselves needed them. Though we failed, we meant well.

Im not sure that this applies to you but I do hope you will hear some words that reach you here at PC.

[IcryWhoAmI]

Thank you all for taking your time to respond, I do appreciate it a lot.

I just want a life, you know? To find something I'm good at, to get a job and make money and find friends, I just can't. I'm so useless at everything, I think why bother? It's hopeless. I have no motivation to do anything and it's hard to change. I find it hard to understand myself let alone to let someone else try. I'm so closed off from the world. I just hate every part of my life, of me and who I am.

[IcryWhoAmI]

Originally Posted by allimsaying

>Have you ever heard of 'treatment resistant'?

I don't know if it is that, I think if I was given an opportunity to take some sort of treatment, I would take it, although I would be wary at first.
It's just when certain advice comes from people who don't seem to understand even the smallest part. Like when they say things like 'You just need to get out more' or to 'try something new/different'. It doesn't really help me much, more infuriates me than anything. I mean, I think it's just my stubbornness mostly that makes me push people away rather than a resistance. Although stubbornness in it's own form is a kind of resistance, no?

[ElaineJ]

Originally Posted by allimsaying

> Even when there are people who genuinely try to help, I don't take it. I don't know why this is, It's not that I don't want the help, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered with all that typing, I just can't take it for some reason. Usually it's because they said something silly after which I've already said I couldn't do. But most of the time, I just read the response, and I'm just like 'No.'

I hope this doesnt seem insincere when I ask, Have you ever heard of 'treatment resistant'?

When I first heard the term it meant to me that the depression, this thing outside of me, hence, alien to me, was resistant to medical treatment. How shocking that was to me that some form of 'virus' could overtake my body and mind and resist to be treated, as though it were a cancer cell or some such and therefore alien to me and something over which I had no control. IT was treatment resistant.

Well, that is both comforting and not comforting. On the one hand, I can say that something else has control of me and that being true, I am not responsible for any of my own actions or sayings. On the other hand, I am at this things mercy. Which would I rather be?

People come and offer words and thoughts to us in hope that it may help. Its the giving in the thing that heals. No, we dont always know what to say, and we sometimes say what we shouldnt. But our heart is in it. Its really sad to care and give what you can and sometimes is not received as it was intended, but we keep on, knowing that someone had the right words, at the right time, when we ourselves needed them. Though we failed, we meant well.

Im not sure that this applies to you but I do hope you will hear some words that reach you here at PC.

Excuse me, but the term 'treatment resistant' makes a lot of sense to me ... but how does one get around it?? Sounds like my husb completely. One counselor told me my husb has 'learned helplessness'. He's been a patient in one form or another for so long that he simply expects people to take care of him.

[ramster_hall]

Originally Posted by IcryWhoAmI

I don't know if it is that, I think if I was given an opportunity to take some sort of treatment, I would take it, although I would be wary at first.
It's just when certain advice comes from people who don't seem to understand even the smallest part. Like when they say things like 'You just need to get out more' or to 'try something new/different'. It doesn't really help me much, more infuriates me than anything. I mean, I think it's just my stubbornness mostly that makes me push people away rather than a resistance. Although stubbornness in it's own form is a kind of resistance, no?

Do you have any ideas about what kind of treatment you would like? Sometimes if you dont have any idea what you want its difficult for people to take an initial stab at guessing what might help?

People can be full of clever sounding one liners and yes its infuriating when they get banded around - even medical professionals will say silly things. Think about what is really bothering you and try and communicate it. Write it down or draw a diagram!

The problem is exactly as you said - stubborness is a form of resistance - theres a thin line between objecting with good cause and resistance. It may not work in your favour.

Sorry to end on a bum note. But im no pianist!

[allimsaying]

I just want a life, you know? That is your first step. You are already off and running. We all want a life, or wanted one. If you're breathing, you still have one. Now the question is, what to do with it? To find something I'm good at, to get a job and make money and find friends, Doing really well so far. You know what you want and how to get it. Well, friends might be a little harder but I think you've already made a few here. I just can't. I'm so useless at everything, I think why bother? It's hopeless. Do not repeat these words more than once. If you do it may become your mantra. That wouldnt compliment your previous accomplishments. I have no motivation to do anything and it's hard to change. Motivation is the depresseds living mate. If you want a life, with jobs and friends, you'll need to move past this somehow. Probably where those annoying suggestions are trying to take you. I find it hard to understand myself let alone to let someone else try. Take it in smaller pieces if thats easier. I'm so closed off from the world. I just hate every part of my life, of me and who I am. I never completely hated myself. There were a lot of things I didnt like. Im sorry you feel so badly. Here is where I say some of those silly things and you get annoyed.

Treatment resistant is exactly that. Its very difficult to treat. There are some technical definitions here at PC you could read and another from Wiki. Im not a doc, this is a self help support website but there are some pretty sharp people around. For myself I will say that the resistor it turns out, was me, not the depression. I, like you, had thousands of excuses why I couldnt do this or that or so and so person couldnt help. When I began letting down my refusal to let the good guys win, I began to feel better. Not that Im cured at all.

[IcryWhoAmI]

Originally Posted by ramster_hall

Do you have any ideas about what kind of treatment you would like? Sometimes if you dont have any idea what you want its difficult for people to take an initial stab at guessing what might help?

People can be full of clever sounding one liners and yes its infuriating when they get banded around - even medical professionals will say silly things. Think about what is really bothering you and try and communicate it. Write it down or draw a diagram!

The problem is exactly as you said - stubborness is a form of resistance - theres a thin line between objecting with good cause and resistance. It may not work in your favour.

Sorry to end on a bum note. But im no pianist!

I'm not saying I want treatment, just that if I was offered help I would take it. Obviously I want help otherwise I wouldn't moan. I don't know what sort of help, just something to put me on the right track I guess. :\

[Momentofclarity]

Whoever allimsaying is he/she seems like a smart person. These annoying comments like "you gotta take the first step" is quite contradictionary since the first step is just to get that comment unless this person found you out, which doesn't sem to be the case. You've already posted more than 5 posts here thats A step whether it's the first or 1000:d.

From personal experience it seems like your problem isn't really that you do nothing in your everyday life or that you do nothing to try to change it, cause we've already agreed upon that you have done something to try to change your life.

What I would guess is your actually problem is rather your mindset. Even if you do something great you don't really appreciate it do you? Even if you got a really nice meal or saw a good movie or picture or whatever woud you be able to appreciate it at the moment?

Think of it... are you really not good at anything? If you don't think you are what have people around you said about it? Have you during your whole lifetime never recieved a possitive comment for something you've done? Sure you have. But you aren't thinking of that now are you? You don't think you've done anything while you know you did when you first posted here or when you first posted on the other forums you mention.

I am guessing this cause I am like that myself...or was... I might be wrong and in that case pls tell me. If I am right then I know it's not that easy as "just start appreciating things" or turn on a smile and live happily ever after. I just wanna know whats your "actuall" problem and what might something only half true and half made up by your mind. Pls don't get upset in any way by this.... I can be a 100% wrong and I am just trying to help.

Originally Posted by IcryWhoAmI

What is the first step, or the second, or last?

There is no last. As long as you live, you'll have to battle life.

[IcryWhoAmI]

Originally Posted by Momentofclarity

What I would guess is your actually problem is rather your mindset. Even if you do something great you don't really appreciate it do you? Even if you got a really nice meal or saw a good movie or picture or whatever would you be able to appreciate it at the moment?

Think of it... are you really not good at anything? If you don't think you are what have people around you said about it? Have you during your whole lifetime never recieved a possitive comment for something you've done? Sure you have. But you aren't thinking of that now are you? You don't think you've done anything while you know you did when you first posted here or when you first posted on the other forums you mention.

That is true, I don't feel I do appreciate a lot of things. My mindset it probably quite different from some people because I have to question and dissect everything until it makes sense, and most of the time, nothing does make sense.
I really am not good at anything. This is the part that bugs me the most when I tell people because it's always the same. 'You MUST be good at SOMETHING'. If there was something I knew I was good at I would go out and do it. But there really is nothing. And it gets to me so much, because I'm just watching the world go by, seeing people get jobs or going to college, actually having a life, etc. And then there's me, no life, no hope, nothing. I just exist. For what? I'm a waste of an existence. There's nothing I can do.

[RJ78]

Hi ICWAI,

Happy belated birthday. I think you're quite a talented writer, you express your feelings quite clearly here on the forum.

I have spent years dissecting every word, every aspect of my life, and seeing the negative 98% of the time. It hurts so much. It was only when I began to shed some of the shame by sharing these feelings and thoughts that I was able to see other possibilities, at least more often than previously. The forum has been very helpful for that.

Hugs to you,

RJ

[Momentofclarity]

Originally Posted by IcryWhoAmI

That is true, I don't feel I do appreciate a lot of things. My mindset it probably quite different from some people because I have to question and dissect everything until it makes sense, and most of the time, nothing does make sense.
I really am not good at anything. This is the part that bugs me the most when I tell people because it's always the same. 'You MUST be good at SOMETHING'. If there was something I knew I was good at I would go out and do it. But there really is nothing. And it gets to me so much, because I'm just watching the world go by, seeing people get jobs or going to college, actually having a life, etc. And then there's me, no life, no hope, nothing. I just exist. For what? I'm a waste of an existence. There's nothing I can do.

If you are as passive as you describe then it might be hard to find what you are good at unless you posses a sleeping, eating and going to bathroom skill. And even if you did save the whole world from certain doom you've already decided that you aren't good at anything and then you wouldn't notice how great your deeds are anyway. I would say that the chances that you aren't good at anything and contra that it is just a picture of yourself you have a hard time to let go are quite slim.

But you know what? It actually doesn't matter that much. Cause the way I see society you DO have the capacity to do whatever society actualy need the most. And that is people who care for others.

I bet you do have the capacity to give a very powerfull cure that can almost cure anything. You have typed on this forum right? If you have that you do got hands right? If you do have hands you've got arms right? If you have arms and hands that you can write with you can surely wrap someone in with them. Another word for that is hug.

Seriously, by just being a human you can be someone for others. You can speak, listen, hug, watch movies with someone or.. whatever... the possibilities are endless. In fact, you've already given 5 cyber hugs and thats 5 well needed hugs, 'cause you can't get enough of 'em.

[IcryWhoAmI]

I hate society, and I hate most people. I hate myself and my life.
I want to be different, I want to do something. I just can't. I have no motivation or drive. No matter how many times I tell myself to do something, I never do. It frustrates me how I'm like this. It frustrates me how easy it is for other people, why is it so hard for me? Why must I fail at everything? Why can't I find just ONE thing I'm good at? Why must my life be wasted on boredom and self-hate? How will I ever make a life for myself. I just wish I didn't exist.

[Momentofclarity]

I still believe it's your mindset that is the problem. Sadly I can't give you any better advice than go to a doctor or psychiatrists or whatever those professions are called in english. Something that did work somewhat for me was pills, and maybe you need such things too.

Once you are there you don't actually have to speak with the doctors. You could just print this whole conversation out and give it to them. I don't believe that money and shyness can forever keep you away from life.

There's numbers you can call that answers 24/7 with proffesionals. There are events on this site from time to time when you can chat with docjohn for free (if I've got things right).

If you wanna know more about depression you can study it yourself at a college around. All you have to do is search for a course about psykology in a college close to you, register online (I guess, thats how it is in my country) and then attend to the lectures sit in the back and never ask a question. This might give you some answers you search for. If you don't wanan do that you can read distance courses. Again my english fails me but some courses you can read even though you are on the other side of the country through internet. You can "go" to a college from where you are sitting right now. You can even read books about depression or psychology or whatever online or at a local library.

Maybe this is what you need to do differently. Taking a step towards something whether it's the first or last and whatever a step is. There is help to take and it's there for everyone. Now take it! The first thing that can happen is that nothing changes...right?

Eventually it's up to you though. Few people have such friends that forces you to go to doctors and such. I wish and hope that you will do anything of what I've suggested above. You don't have to do it immediately, I would myself need a few days to consider it. Whatever you choose to do and what you don't choose to do I'll still be here.

Until next time.

[IcryWhoAmI]

I went to College 2 years ago to study Psychology and I failed it. Plus it wasn't about how you think or behave or anything like that. We had to study and memorize 15 different case studies. The lecturer wasn't great either, she just gave out sheets of paper and PowerPoint presentations all the time. She didn't really teach anything.
Printing this conversation out would probably more embarrassing then telling them, although both are as terrifying as each other.
I don't think there are any open colleges or universities like that here, usually you have to sign up for the full course or pay for a short course. If there are then I obviously don't know about them, and probably too far away to get to anyway.
I've already read many many things online, but nothing ever help or inspires me.
As I've recently said I don't have any friends or people to help me.
Thanks anyway though!

[allimsaying]

>My mindset it probably quite different from some people because I have to question and dissect everything until it makes sense, and most of the time, nothing does make sense.

I understand this pretty well. A lot of things really dont make sense to me either. Sometimes we just have to accept what we cant change, but, heck, if you can change something, by all means do!

What about animals? Do you hate them too?

What does it mean to you to hate?

[IcryWhoAmI]

Originally Posted by allimsaying

What about animals? Do you hate them too?

What does it mean to you to hate?

No, I love animals, only because they're so vulnerable and innocent. Also caring and loving too. People aren't like that. Maybe some, but not many.
I think my hate is more of a strong fear, or something. It's just like a really intense dislike. I can't really explain it :/

[Rose76]

I recognize a lot of what you say. Seems I've said a lot of those things myself. I happen to agree with a lot of your sentiments.

When I was young - like you - I knew that I was shy and lonely and unhappy. It took a few more years before I identified myself as "depressed." In a way, that helped. In a way, it didn't. People will tell you that you have a medical condition and that it is treatable and that doctors are the ones who can help you. I don't look at it that way.

Medication has helped me, mainly because it rectified a huge problem I had with insomnia. I did have to get that from a doctor, naturally. After years of hearing about my medical condition, I've gone back to thinking that my main problem was that I was shy.

I think you're right in identifying that as a root of a lot of your difficulty. My guess is that you are probably very intelligent, as well. Unfortunately, that often complicates shyness. A lot of things you could do with people just don't interest you. A lot of people just don't interest you. You're probably prone to getting bored easily. Just my guess. I may be wrong.

Would medical help and therapy make life better for you? I'll give it to you straight. Probably not much. Does that mean that you are just going to stay feeling the way you do? Again, I'll give it to you straight. It's apt to get even worse.

At your age I just couldn't find anything that I really felt like doing. Man, that was so depressing. My parents weren't the type I could talk to about it, either, as you describe. In fact, they were very unsympathetic and let me more-or-less know that they thought I was a loser. That made me want to move out; so I got a job (a very lowly job) and I moved out.

Ever since then, basically, my life has been a struggle to support myself. At times, though, it has seemed pretty decent, with frequent depressive episodes. When I was working, or furthering my education, or doing something of value to someone, life sucked a lot less. So, if you have managed to start working, you are probably on the right track. It is hard, at age 19, to accept that life is hard, most jobs suck, and most people will be miserable to be around from time to time. The typical 19 year old doesn't dream that that is how life is. That's why I think you are intelligent. I think you've basically figured that out. That is discouraging.

You can have happiness, now and then. That's about all anyone gets. You have to do something of value and be kind to people around you. At the same time, you have to avoid getting overly suckered and don't let just everyone waste your time whenever they feel like doing so. You have to be sweet and hard-as-nails at the same time. Does being shy make it harder? Yeah. It does. It can make it awful hard. That is really extremely unfair, and life doesn't care. If you were born missing an arm, or a leg, that would make life harder, too. You'ld have the same choice: try harder, or miss out. Did I mention that Life Doesn't Care?

Is there some treatment that will get rid of the shy-thing? No. But there are people earning their livelihood claiming that there is. You can help line their pockets, if you care to. You can take beta-blocker drugs. You can go to therapy for insight. You can get a diagnosis from a psychiatrist. After doing all that, as I did, you'll still be shy. It's awful to be lonely. It's about the worst thing there is. Escaping that is very hard for a shy person. It takes prolonged, sustained effort. It's a war you never win, once and for all. You just keep fighting it. But you do win battles, and you get to know some good fun now and then. It's just hard-won. You can even get to be wise and understanding because you aren't able to take a lot of ordinary things for granted, as others can.

[Momentofclarity]

Originally Posted by IcryWhoAmI

Thanks anyway though!

'kay that made my day...I haven't answered in a couple of days cause I wanted you to think everything already written in this thread. You've been give a lot of options to change something in your life. If you haven't done anything yet I understand you and won't be angry. But I wonder how things are going..

"What about animals? Do you hate them too?"

Maybe a dog would suit you.

[IcryWhoAmI]

Originally Posted by Momentofclarity

'kay that made my day...I haven't answered in a couple of days cause I wanted you to think everything already written in this thread. You've been give a lot of options to change something in your life. If you haven't done anything yet I understand you and won't be angry. But I wonder how things are going..

"What about animals? Do you hate them too?"

Maybe a dog would suit you.

I can't have pets, I live with my parents. Plus my house is too messy for them anyway. I don't know what I'm supposed to change or do, I don't even know if I can. Everything's so difficult for me

[Momentofclarity]

Originally Posted by IcryWhoAmI

I can't have pets, I live with my parents. Plus my house is too messy for them anyway. I don't know what I'm supposed to change or do, I don't even know if I can. Everything's so difficult for me

you could have small pets i cage. Like hamsters or something.

[IcryWhoAmI]

Originally Posted by Momentofclarity

you could have small pets i cage. Like hamsters or something.

They're boring. I'd prefer a cat. Someday.